Page 120 of Untether

Huh.

I like that a lot.

Cal’s grinning, too. ‘Hell, yes they do.’

‘This is good,’ Mara muses aloud, still scrolling. ‘I can work with this. It’ll definitely help with the messaging. Youknow what Lizzy was saying the other week about contrasts? Like, the outcome of your on-screen journey, and the person you’ve become, needs to contrast as sharply as possible with the starting point.

‘So, yeah, if the press is working this angle that you’ve upgraded to a totally different relationship dynamic where your partner is fully supportive of you and wants you to shine, I’d say that’s very fucking helpful. And John Fuck Boy Russell can go fuck himself.’

I can’t resist. ‘John who?’ I ask sweetly, and Mara cackles so loud that someone from the next table twists their body around to see what’s going on.

‘You’re such a bitch.’ She shoots me an evil grin. ‘I knew I liked you.’

Cal takes my hand under the table and squeezes it. ‘I’m your biggest cheerleader, baby. You know I am. You are fucking spectacular, and I’ll shout that from the rooftops if they give me a mic.’

I lick my lips, and his gaze drops to my mouth. ‘I know you are, sweetie,’ I tell him.

‘Mara,’ he drawls, not taking his eyes off me, ‘don’t you have somewhere else to be right now?’

‘No. Why?’

‘Because I hear they have bedrooms in this place,’ he says. His eyes are dark and hungry, and his tone is low and rough, and all of it makes me shiver in the best way. ‘And I’m feeling the need to drag my girlfriend off to one of them.’

77

AIDA

The final interview plays over the bacchanalian footage of the Masked Ball andthatwalk with Cal down the Alchemy corridor.

SIMONE: When you look back at this journey, would you say you’ve done what you set out to do and actually found paradise?

ME: Definitely.

SIMONE: And what does that look like for you?

ME: I’d say it looks like choosing myself and what I actually want over what I think I should want. We complain that society has expectations of us and makes us a prisoner of those expectations, but, really, I feel like we make ourselves the prisoner—often without realising it.

As we record this, Cal and I are in a relationship. That absolutely wasn’t my intention, and I’m conscious that it might be more impactful if I say I’ve signed up to Alchemy and I’m so liberated now that I’m with a different guy every night.

And that would absolutely have been my prerogative, and it might also have made for a far better headline, butthe fact that I’ve chosen my own happiness over any responsibility I might feel to deliver a message feels pretty meta to me. Meta, and also really fascinating, when I think about it.

I dreamed up this show because I knew it would be an incredible personal journey for me, and I expected it to be transformative for how I move through life.

But I didnotexpect it to bring me a great, staggering love like the love I’ve found with Cal—I never, for one second, expected that.

So, to think I might have let myself miss out on that love because my being a mouthpiece for a generation of women was more important to me? That is actually insane.

Ladies, go find your paradise. It might be monogamy, or adventure, or so-called promiscuity, or a really good look at your own sexual wellbeing, or even being happy on your own—it doesn’t matter.

The only thing that matters is that you look inside of yourself, and you don’t let society tell you what you should want.

Ask yourself what you want, and then give yourself permission to go and fucking find it.

EPILOGUE - AIDA

Stamina has to be one of the most fantastic, and unexpected, perks of a younger boyfriend. I don’t mean in bed—Cal’s ability to go the distance between the sheets would surprise no one, especially given how freely he boasts about his refractory period.

No, it’s his stamina out of bed that’s a fucking delight. Particularly when it comes to my sons, and the endless time and energy Cal devotes to playing with them.

---