Page 59 of His

“Kitten,” he moaned hoarsely. My eyes had been closed, but I opened them just in time to see him look down at me, his eyebrows turned up in the middle, as though pleading me to continue. “I… I…”

I knew what he was unable to say, and I tilted my head forward to take him completely inside of me. His cock stiffened, the base growing impossibly hard under my lips, and his seed came hot and spurting against my tongue. I swallowed reflexively to keep from gagging, his salty taste filling my mouth, and swallowed again until there was nothing left. I continued to suck and lick, more softly, the way I imagined I’d want to be licked after an orgasm.

He withdrew quickly, and the room turned cool as he swung his leg off of me and released me from his weight. He sat on the edge of the bed, and I twisted my neck to watch him pull on his underwear. Bent over, his head resting slightly on the tips of his fingers, he looked almost as though he was praying.

I burned for relief. There was no way he could stop now. I felt as though he’d done to me all of the things I’d done to him, but I was only on the verge of climax.

“Gav?”

He did not turn. He made no motion at all to let me know that he had heard me. I tried a bit louder.

“Gav?”

“What is it?”

“I—I mean—would you—can you do that for me?”

As soon as I asked, I knew he would deny me. But I was taken aback at his reaction. Not angry, no. He wasn’t angry at all. Instead, he began to laugh. Softly, at first, then louder and louder, until I worried that he was truly insane. More insane than I’d thought before.

His head snapped toward me, cutting off his laugh abruptly.

“You want more, kitten?”

My mouth was dry.

“I need it. Gavriel, please, I want it so badly. You don’t know—”

“I know it quite well,” he said brusquely. He stood up, and I saw his eyes flatten, cover his emotions. “You’re the one who doesn’t know.”

He walked to the bathroom door and I nearly screamed.

“Just touch me, just a bit,” I begged, hating myself for being so weak. “It won’t take long, I’m almost there.”

“No, kitten,” he said. “Your decision, your choice. It’s a trade, of course. Always a trade.”

I bit my lip.

“I gave you what you wanted—” I started to say, but his dark look cut my words off on my tongue.

“No,” he said. “I’ve already given you what you asked for. Now you’ll see a bit of what I have to face each day.”

He paused, and looked down at me with pity in his eyes.

“I don’t get to kill, and you don’t get to come.”

Gav

Breathe in, breathe out. Water splashed on my face, cooled my heated skin.

I couldn’t believe what she was making me do. The shadow left me alone for a moment, but as soon as I left her side it was back, sliding in at the corners, uncurling its tendrils around my center of vision.

She’d saved the man for one day, that was all. If I wanted to, I could kill him tomorrow. The thought calmed me somewhat. Imagining the man on my table, my knife slicing down through the layers of skin and muscle and fat. Exposing his insides to the air. Blood isn’t red until it meets the oxygen in the atmosphere, and then it changes color instantly.

Yes, I could kill him later. It soothed me, and I played out his death in my mind like a tape, rewinding, replaying, changing parts around. Would I cut off his fingers first? That sometimes made it better, to hear their screams as I popped the joints one by one. Fingers weren’t lethal, and I could keep him conscious throughout. Yes, that’s what I would do.

I returned to the bedroom in a better mood. She lay staring at the ceiling and would not look at me when I came and sat beside her.

“I’m going out for the afternoon,” I said.

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