Page 42 of How to Dance

He recognized the embarrassment that hit him as Kevin approached the table. The same sinking feeling nauseated him when he smiled at a girl at the Squeaky Lion only to watch her boyfriend appear behind her—or worse, when a single girl apologetically turned down his offer to buy her a drink. It was the sudden realization that he was worth less than he thought he was, as if he’d mistakenly taken a seat in first class.

It was what he’d felt when he’d spoken to Vicki for the last time.

He was furious at himself for feeling this way with Hayley. They were friends. The limits of their relationship couldn’t possibly be more clearly defined, and that was a good thing, because Nick had no illusions about how much he was worth to her. It didn’t matter that Kevin somehow managed to make a black apron and chef’s hat look cool as he wove through the tables. It didn’t matter that Nick would never be able to fit the walker through the narrow path Kevin had taken from the kitchen, or stand as quickly as Hayley just had as she rushed to kiss her boyfriend. It didn’t matter that Nick could never compete with Kevin, because Hayley would never want to replace Kevin. As long as Nick remembered that, he could force an amiable smile on his face and try not to feel like he’d been caught trying to get away with something.

Hayley introduced Kevin to the Becketts. “And you already know Nick,” she said.

“Hey, man!” Kevin offered Nick an enthusiastic fist bump. “Good to see you!”

Kevin was different today, more animated than the guy who’d thanked Nick for breakfast during the week. Suddenly, Nick recognized the glint in his eyes: It was the excitement of a performer about to take the stage.

“I still owe you that drink,” Kevin was saying. “You going to be around after?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Nick said.

“Awesome. I hear we throw one hell of an after-party.” Kevin turned to Hayley and kissed her, hard. “I’ve got to get back to it.”

Hayley beamed. “Light this place up, baby.”

Nick heard the love, the affection, the pride all packed into one word:baby. What would it feel like if Hayley spoke to him with such gentle intimacy? He wanted it so badly it unnerved him, and he ordered himself never to consider it again. Hayley’s friendship was a gift, one that would be taken away as soon as he wanted more than she had to give, so he would give her every possible reason to stay. He’d be the best goddamn friend this woman had ever had, the friend shedeserved, and he’d kill anything within him that got in the way of that.

Nick was finishing off the salsa when Mimi brought newcomers to their table. “Bill and Joan will be joining you tonight,” she announced. “You’re going to have a blast.”

“I’m sure we will,” Nick said. Mimi was still standing behind him after he’d greeted the couple, and he leaned back to look at her. “What’s up?”

Mimi put a hand on his shoulder and bent down to murmur in his ear. “Linda wanted me to ask you if we could move your wheels.”

Nick glanced over at the walker. “Move it where?”

“Just to the corner over there. She didn’t want people tripping over it once the house lights go down.”

“Sure. I’m sorry I didn’t think to move it sooner, actually.”

She scoffed. “Not your job.” She watched Nick’s smile dim. “What is it, love?”

“Linda wanted you to ask me,” he said. “You, specifically.”

“Yes.”

“Because she figured I’d be more comfortable if the request came from you.”

Mimi smiled. “She never said that.”

Nick reached back and squeezed her hand. “How lucky am I, to get all my requests through you?”

“Unbelievably so, I think.”

“If you ever get a chance to tell her she doesn’t have to be nervous around me …”

“Say no more, mon petit chou.” Mimi straightened up and addressed the table. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve been ordered to make sure Mr. Freeman doesn’t escape.”

Bill, their new tablemate, watched with interest as Mimi carried the walker away. He had a silver buzz cut, and judging by the look on his weathered face, Nick could tell he was more interested in the walker than in Mimi.

“That’s yours?” Bill asked him.

“Yep,” Nick said promptly.

Bill didn’t look shocked, but it was obvious he was processing this information. Nick wasn’t surprised. His legs were hidden under the table, and his broad shoulders and solid arms spoke of regular trips to the gym. Even with Bill sitting next to him, Nick knew he didn’t look remotely like someone who needed a walker.

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