Page 65 of S is for…

“It’s topping from the bottom.”

“It’s not, and the fact that you think that….”His jaw clenched.“I’ll admit that I’m feeling a little…primal…right now, and I have a strong urge to go kick Julen’s ass.”

“Master Morton isn’t the one who made me think that way.”

“Then who did?I’ll kick their ass instead.”

Laney opened her mouth, but a watery laugh escaped, her eyes filling with tears.

“Hey, hey, baby, it’s okay.”Peter reached down and hauled her up onto his lap.She ended up straddling his thighs.He reached behind her and undid the bindings, bringing her arms in front of her and rubbing her wrists with one hand while the other cupped her cheek.

Laney leaned her head into his palm.“I feel so stupid.”

“You have every right to feel whatever way you want.But I want you to know that I don’t think you’re stupid.”His thumb touched her lower lip, pulling on it just a little.“I mean…I really don’t think you’re stupid for wanting to suck my cock.”

Laney laughed, shaking her head against his hand.“It’s so…demanding.What I did.And I guess I felt preemptively stupid.”

“Stupid for?”He frowned.“I’m sorry, I still don’t understand.”When she lowered her gaze he ducked his head, catching her eyes.“I don’t understand, but I’d like to.”

“I guess I’m…afraid that if I am demanding, my partner will either think I’m trying to control the scene, think I’m too much trouble, or think that I’m not really submissive.”

“Stating what you want and need is critical to BDSM.”He frowned.“How long have you been a model submissive?”

She’d heard the term before, even taken a random “what type of sub are you” quiz she found online.Her results were usually either “slave,” “service sub,” or “model sub.”

“I want you to imagine that—and this is just a random example—you’re in the middle of a scene.You’re turned on, pussy wet, ass sore from a spanking, and your Dom puts you on your knees.”

“Such a random example,” she said with a mock frown, some of her slippery worry fading.

“It is, isn’t it?So in this example, you’re on your knees, and you think ‘I’m going to suck my Dom’s cock.Where did that thought come from?”His thumb brushed her cheekbone.“There’s no right answer here.Do you want to suck his cock to please him?Is it because you need that contact and sexual intimacy?Because it makes you feel submissive?Something else I haven’t named?”

Yesterday she would have answered that it was to please him.Or that it was an expected form of service.Or because sucking cock was just something subs did, and she was a sub, so therefore she’d do it.But none of those were right, or true, tonight.

“This is going to sound stupid.”

Peter pursed his lips.“Later, we're going to have a conversation about the word stupid.”

“I may have overused it.”

“Just a little.But I want to hear whatever it is you think is going to sound stupid.”

“In this hypothetical?—”

“Hypothetical, of course.”

“Of course.In this hypothetical situation where I am on my knees, super aroused, ass sore from the first good spanking I’ve had in a long time, and suddenly there is a nice cock bulge in front of me…”

Peter’s hands dropped to her hips, squeezing slightly.

“In that situation, I want to suck him because I’m craving the taste and feel and pressure of a cock in my mouth.I want it for myself, not just to please him, though I want to please him too.”She’d lost track of the tenses, but his expression said he was following what she said.“I want to taste his dick and feel it in my throat.”

Peter sucked in air through his nose.

Laney was fighting to stay still and not start humping the air she was so turned on.She shook her head, a little confused.“So, yeah, I wanted to suck cock for the sake of sucking cock.And saying and explaining that sounds stupid and makes me feel a little stupid.”

Peter closed his eyes.“I’m going to need a minute.”

“Because you’re…worried?Disgusted?Confused?”

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