Page 27 of S is for…

“Yes, that Diann.And yes, I ended up paired with my ex-Master for this shitty game.”

“Oh, that’s some bullshit,” Laney said, unexpectedly vehement.“And I’m Laney, wait, I already said that.”

“You did, but, Laney, I have a bit of an odd question.”

“Okay?”

“This might be a shot in the dark,” Joni warned with exaggerated gravity.

Laney smiled as she once more said, “Okay.”

Joni looked at Diann, who arched a brow, then back to Laney.

“Laney, were you assigned to the letter S?”

“You too?”

Peter looked up, squinting to make out the face of the man walking towards him.Gravel crunched under the man’s shoes as he made his way across the parking lot.

Julen.

Well fuck.

Peter reached behind him for a beer, passing it to Julen, who shook his head, then held up his hand, showing off the bottle of liquor Peter hadn’t seen.

Julen passed the bottle to Peter, who set it beside the case of beer he’d pilfered from the club.

“Actually, give me a beer.I’ll start there,” Julen sounded grim.

“Beer before liquor?Always a good decision.”Peter was several beers in already.

“Not how that saying goes,” Julen said seriously as he twisted the cap off the bottle Peter passed him.

“I fucked up,” Peter said after they’d each taken a long pull.

“Me too.”

“Diann used her safe word.”Peter still felt sick.The things she’d said, the painfully true accusations, rattled inside his head.

“So did Delaney,” Julen admitted.

“Oh shit, really?”

“I’m not even sure…” Julen looked down.

“You’re not sure why?”Peter asked.

“Specifically, no.Fuck.I don’t know if she’s hurt, or in pain…”

Those were the same thing, but now didn’t seem like a good time to point that out.

“But I was a shit to her,” Julen concluded.“Too focused on the other scenes.”

They were silent for a moment, digesting that.

“I used Diann exactly the way she likes being used, but I made her feel ashamed.”Peter was now three beers in, and past the point where he could perform the mental gymnastics required to lie to himself.

He knew refusal to emotionally engage with a partner, to use empathy as a tool, was wrong.He knew it, and yet he’d deliberately put emotional distance between himself and Diann.

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