Page 25 of S is for…

Joni turned her head.It was surprisingly difficult thanks to the collar strap.Since the lighting was all down low, Master Vo’s face was in shadow as he lay on the bed beside her.She couldn’t even tell if his eyes were open.

She shifted, trying to draw his attention.He didn’t react.Was he asleep?No.He was lying fully clothed on top of the duvet, and it had only been a few minutes.

Then again, maybe he could be asleep already.Maybe he was one of those people who could fall asleep in sixty seconds or less.Who could fall asleep while his submissive lay next to him in a kink version of a sleeping bag.

Joni shifted back to staring at the ceiling, her teeth grinding together.Her submission was all but gone, leaving her feeling…

Stupid.Stupid for not experiencing this the way it was intended—as a physical display of his dominance and control, a reminder of her submission.

No, she wouldn’t call herself stupid.There were probably plenty of people for whom this was the pinnacle of kinky excellence.

Joni just wasn’t one of them.Everyone’s kinks were different, and evolving.The fact that this wasn’t doing anything for her didn’t make her stupid, or a bad sub.

It did mean that with each breath she took, irritation grew.

She came to Las Palmas to give up control and get her needs met.This was not helping her find and inhabit her submission, or meeting her need.

Five years ago, when she’d first started her BDSM journey, she would have assumed, that saying something didn’t make her feel submissive or meet her needs was a way of topping from the bottom.Or a sign that she wasn’t really submissive.Given her personality, she’d assumed she had to be a Domme, and had started that training first.It was only when she’d really understood the power exchange that her submissive fantasies made sense and she switched to submission.

But because she hadn’t always identified as submissive, she struggled with asking for what she needed in that first year.She’d assumed that a real submissive would if not exactlylikeanything a Dom did to them, be at least satisfied by any activity that reinforced the power exchange.

Getting strapped into a sleep sack and gagged with mouth tape was definitely something a Dom did to a submissive.

But lying here in the cold silence didn’t make her feel submissive.It made her feel stupid and irritated.

She held on for a few minutes more, wanting to see if maybe time would change how she felt.

Nope.

This activity did not meet her needs, and Joni was not going to sacrifice her time and submission for the sake of some game.

Joni opened her mouth, the tape popping off her top lip.She spent a minute trying to push it off her bottom lip with her tongue, but gave up.

Irritation made her voice sharp when she spoke.“Lihn.”

The man beside her immediately rolled onto his side.He hadn’t been asleep.“Joni?”

“Pineapple.”

Chapter7

Joni, Laney, Diann | Lihn, Julen, Peter

Twenty minutes later,Joni walked into the Subs’ Garden, a combination of irritation and sadness making her steps drag.

Lihn had jumped to get her out of the sleep sac the second she’d said her safe word, and wanted to both talk and do aftercare.She knew it was a little bit of a dick move, but she asked him for space, and that they postpone both the scene postmortem and any aftercare.Doms needed aftercare too, and the bewildered look on his face spoke volumes about his confusion and worry, but she needed space to shake off her current mood and reset her brain.

She expected the Subs’ Garden to be quiet, for everyone to be either in scenes or sleeping.

Instead, she found two pissed off women with tears streaking their cheeks, one out in the garden itself, the other inside, curled up in a lounge chair.She nodded to each of them and headed for her locker.

She opened the door, taking out a robe and tossing her bra and underwear set—the underwear was still wet—inside.

She’d had a plan—steam room then shower, letting the heat melt away her feelings.

But those other women…

The three of them were the only people in the Subs’ Garden.There was no one else there to see, or take care of, the other women.She was frustrated, irritated, and feeling guilty, but her sister subs were clearly in need of some support.She turned on her heel and headed outside.

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