Page 89 of XOXO

Is it considered cheating if you go to the concert of a boy band that’s not the idol group your boyfriend belongs to?

This is not a question I ever thought I would ask myself. Yet here I stand, outside a concert venue, staring up at the poster of nine beautiful boys.

Their group is called 95D or 95 the Dream, which apparently stands for 9 High-Five the Dream.

“I’ve seen them before,” I say. “At EBC. They were in the lobby.”

“Are there any that catch your eye?” Sori asks, her expression serious.

I point to the one in the middle, who of the nine, looks the most like someone I might meet on the street. “He’s pretty cute.”

“Jo Jisoo,” Sori says. “He used to be a trainee at Joah, but then switched companies and debuted with 95D as their youngestmember. He’s cute, but he’s not my favorite.Him.” She points to the guy second from the right with red hair. “Jun-oppa. I love him.”

I turn to stare at her. Sori usually looks gorgeous, but tonight, she’s gone all out. Her hair is in a high ponytail that swings when she walks, plus a leather bustier and vinyl joggers.

“You love him,” I repeat. Just to be clear. She’s never said this about Nathaniel, who was her actual boyfriend.

“Yes, I love him.” She says the words without inflection, like she really means it. And... I guess when you’re a fan, you really do mean it.

I turn back to the poster, where Jo Jisoo looks at me as if, with him, I really can high-five my dreams. “Then I love Jisoo.”

When I turn back to Sori, she gives me a single nod. “Okay.”

We buy light sticks at the merch booth inside the stadium. Only then, outfitted properly, do we head into the arena, which is already packed to the rafters. Sori’s pulled some strings so our “seats” aren’t seats at all but access to the standing floor in one of the sections next to the stage. The concert hasn’t started yet, but music blasts through the speakers. On either side of the stage are huge screens showing clips from the band’s music videos. Beside me, Sori waves her light stick whenever Jun’s face appears, even if only for a quick second.

At 9:05 the lights dim and a chant rises up from the crowd.

“Nine! Five! Dream! Nine! Five! Dream! Nine! Five! Dream!”

I turn around in a complete circle, gazing up at the sea ofcolors in the stadium, as the light sticks, synchronized and controlled backstage, change from white to pink to baby blue.

Then the stage erupts with fire and all nine members of the band appear, as if by magic, though probably from a lift beneath the stage floor. The music starts and I recognize the song from when they performed it atMusic Net. The choreography takes over and I get lost in the total, all-encompassing experience.

I don’t re-emerge until two hours later, when 95 the Dream performs their last song, called back onto the stage by the crowd for an encore performance.

“That was incredible!” I say as Sori and I stumble out of the stadium into the humid night. My heart is still racing, and it’s like I can still feel the beat of the music vibrating beneath my feet.

Pressing closer to Sori, I confess, “I think you might be the best friend I’ve ever had. I’m glad you’re my roommate.”

“Me too,” she gushes. “I’m glad you’re my roommate. I’m going to miss you so much when you go back to the States.”

“I love you, Sori. More than Jo Jisoo.”

“I love you, Jenny!” She pauses. “Not as much as Oppa, but close.”

Thirty-Six

On the morning of the showcase, I receive a text from Jaewoo. For the past couple of days, he’d been promoting in Japan, and though we’ve been texting every day, it’s been sporadic, only a quick “good night.”

On my way back now, but probably won’t get to the school until right before the showcase starts. If I don’t get to say it in person, you’ve got this!

Gi Taek and Angela are in the room, having slept over the night before, Gi Taek and Angela in Sori’s bed and Sori and me in mine. I told them about leaving Korea earlier than planned and they’d been attached to me like barnacles since.

“Can’t you try convincing your mom again?” Gi Taek asks.

“You don’t know my mom. When she thinks she’s in the right, there’s no convincing her otherwise.”

“What was Jaewoo’s reaction?” Angela asks as she rolls one of my shirts in a tight bundle, handing it over to Gi Taek who lines it up alongside others in my suitcase.

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