Page 80 of XOXO

I envy her peaceful slumber.

It takes me much longer to fall asleep, the events of the day buzzing in my head.

While I finally manage to drift off, I wake with a start when thunder rumbles outside the window. The clock on Joori’s nightstand say it’s three in the morning. Careful not wake her, I slip out of bed. In the kitchen, I fill myself a glass of water and then walk over to the balcony off the living room. The door is unlocked, so I slide it back gently and step outside. Little pottedplants rim the floor, as well as a drying rack, folded and placed against the wall. The balcony isn’t open to the elements, but behind a pane of glass, where the water patters against it, like music.

“Can’t sleep?” Jaewoo steps onto the balcony, sliding the door closed behind him.

“Yeah.” I turn from him to look back out the window. Through the rain, I can see the city. A few lights glow in the fog, sparks of life in the mist-blue darkness. And beyond all the many buildings, like a beautiful backdrop, a seemingly never-ending mountain range.

“Korea is so pretty,” I say.

“Yeah,” Jaewoo says softly.

“I’m going to miss it.”

“You’ll come back.”

Unspoken words lie between us. That I will leave. That our time together is limited.

“Jenny...” he begins.

“Let’s go inside,” I interrupt. It’s a conversation we have to have eventually, but not tonight. “Before we wake your mom and sister.”

He hesitates, as if he wants to say more, but relents. “Okay.”

Inside the apartment, neither of us says a word, and yet we both make our way to Jaewoo’s room.

I climb into his bed, and he wraps his arms around me.

We don’t do anything, which is both a disappointment and a relief. I must drift off eventually, because only an hour or solater, he shakes me gently awake.

“Jenny.” He kisses me, on my neck below my ear.

I wake, groggily, and stumble my way back to Joori’s room, sliding into her warm bed and drifting into sleep just as light peeks through the window, sunlight after rain.

Thirty-Three

The next morning, Jaewoo and I head over to the mall when it opens so that I can buy socks and sneakers as well as a sweatshirt to wear over my dress. We actually purchase matching “couple” sweatshirts with cute cartoon characters, which I know Gi Taek and Sori are going to tease me horribly about, but I think we look adorable.

It’s Sunday, so instead of the dorms, Jaewoo drives us to the clinic so that I can visit Halmeoni while he goes to therapy.

Walking into Halmeoni’s room, I’m surprised to find my mother sitting at her bedside. I’d forgotten that she was visiting today but after spending such a great evening and morning with Jaewoo and his family, I’m excited to spend more time with mine.

“Eomma,” my mom says, as I approach the bed. Halmeoni looks up at me with an apologetic glance. I’ve apparently walked right into something. Mom doesn’t even acknowledge me. “Stop being stubborn. The doctor tells me you could havehad surgery a week ago, but that you refused.”

Halmeoni pouts. “You weren’t here a week ago,”

“But I’m here now. We could schedule it as early as next week.”

“Why?” Halmeoni says. “You’re here for another three months. Why can’t we wait?”

“It’ll take time for you to recover,” Mom counters. “And...” She sighs, pressing her fingers to her temples, a clear sign she’s stressed. “I need to go back to my life.Jennyhas to go back to hers. I was thinking that if you had your surgery early, we could be in LA by the end of June.”

My heart drops. The thought of leaving early never occurred to me.

“My showcase is at the end of June,” I say.

“I can get the surgery after,” Halmeoni adds quickly. “If I get it now, I won’t be well enough to see Jenny perform.”

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