Page 48 of XOXO

She hasn’t gone far because of the storm. Standing outside the cafeteria doors beneath the overhang she looks out at the rain pouring down in long sheets that cascade diagonally across the quad. On the opposite side is the dorm, the lights twinkling blurrily through the rain. She seems like she’s thinking of making a run for it.

“Sori!” I call out, pressing open the door. “I didn’t know you felt that way. I’m sorry about the postcard, you don’t know how sorry.”

Wrapping her arms around her body, she turns to face me. The makeup around her eyes is smudged, possibly in an attempt to wipe away her tears.

“Why are you apologizing to me? I just said terrible things about you.”

It’s a valid question. It’s not like I’d apologize to Jina. But I never thought Sori was cruel. Sure, she’s been haughty andcold, but anything she’s ever said about me, she’s said straight to my face, which I can appreciate. Plus, I live with her; I know that when she’s not studying or working out, she’s watching K-dramas or reading smutty romance manhwa. Besides having a closet to die for, I know that her favorite genre of music is R&B and she has a plant by her bedside that she waters every night from her We Bare Bears water cup. It’s endearing, how nerdy she is.

Why did she sign up for a room with a double if she could have had a single? I’d asked myself that question before, and I’m more confident than ever of the answer: she hoped for a friend.

“I’m apologizing to you because I did read your postcard that morning and that was shitty of me.” Even if it was an accident, I should have put it back without looking at it. “But I won’t apologize for the other stuff you accused me of. I respect that you feel that way, but I can’t in good faith apologize for it...” I pause. “Except maybe the dancing. Nobody should have to suffer through that.”

She holds my gaze for a few seconds longer, then looks away, shaking her head. “You’re weird.”

I scoff. “Please. I’m not the one who rolls her face with a rock every night to get a V-line jaw.”

She gasps, placing a hand dramatically to her chin. “Way to judge me.” But there’s a small smile on her face, and I know we’ve crossed a bridge.

“Sori!” The door to the lunchroom bangs open and Nathaniel rushes out.

The smile on Sori’s face drops and I shoot Nathaniel a look of resentment.

He doesn’t notice, his entire being focused on Sori. “That went too far. Forgive me.”

She takes a step backward, the rain pouring onto her shoulder.

“Wait,” he says. “You’ll catch a cold.” He takes a step back. “I promise I won’t chase you. Just don’t... run.”

“Stop it!” She places her hands to her ears, as if to block him out. “Just stop it!”

“Sori-yah.”

“Stop taking care of me! Stop making me miss you. It hurts. It hurts so much, Nathaniel.”

“It wasn’t my decision to break up,” he says quietly. “You know that.”

“I—I can’t do this.”

She turns, disappearing into the rain.

Nathaniel kicks the door. “Dammit.”

As promised, he doesn’t chase her.

I wonder what it says about me that between the two of them, I’m more upset with Nathaniel than Sori even though Nathaniel and I have been friends for longer.

“I know you’re having a moment,” I tell him, “but you totally interruptedmymoment with Sori.”

He sweeps a hand through his hair. “I feel like I have whiplash. That was rough in there.”

“Um,” I say. “No thanks toyou. Why were you acting like that, anyway? Like, besides negging Sori, what was up with youand Jaewoo? Aren’t you two friends?”

Nathaniel grimaces. “Promise not to get angry.”

Which is a sure sign that I will get angry. “No.”

He sighs. “I was in the van in LA.”

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