Page 96 of XOXO

“Jaewoo.” His manager stands silhouetted by the light inside. “I’ve been looking all over for you. Why didn’t you answer your calls? It’s a circus downstairs. Security is giving us an escort out the back. We have to go.”

Ji Seok notices me then. “It’s best if you leave alone.”

Jaewoo picks up his jacket, where he’d dropped it on the ground. As he passes by me toward the door, he pauses. I look up into his face, holding back my tears.

“I meant to tell you earlier,” he says with one last devastating smile, even though I just broke his heart and mine, “you were beautiful tonight.”

A few seconds later the door shuts with a bang, and he’s gone.

Thirty-Eight

In every K-drama, the penultimate scene usually involves a chase, the throwing away of all inhibitions and fears, when the heroine and her greatest love unite, and all is well in the world.

But no one comes running through the airport to stop me.

And on Sunday, I board the plane and fly home.

Thirty-Nine

It’s a wonder you don’t have an SNS profile, Gi Taek texts at two in the morning, which is six at night Korea Standard Time.Though maybe that’s a good thing....

I’ve been home a week and would have gotten over the jet lag if it weren’t for the group chat Gi Taek started with Angela and Sori the minute I landed at LAX. He’d titled it “FWOJ,” which stands for “Fun Without Jenny.”

Sori: I would hurt anyone who came for you on SNS. I’d be in the comments, belittling people.

Gi Taek: You’d make things worse.

Sori: How dare you.

Angela e-laughs: ???

Maybe it’sbecauseI don’t have any social media profiles that the backlash from the scandal hasn’t been completely awful, at least on my end, but also it could be because no one knows the identity of Bae Jaewoo’s rumored girlfriend. The photograph that was released shows my face, but my features are blurred,and I kind of look like a strange alternate version of myself who, if released from the photo, will come to murder me and take my place.

Anyone who knows me can tell that it’s, well... me, but otherwise none of my personal information was released, including my name.

I think a part of it is that I am a minor, but it’s more that Joah’s lawyers are working around the clock to protect Jaewoo, and by extension me.

The Monday after the scandal broke, while I was somewhere over the Pacific, Joah released a statement declaring that the members of XOXO’s private lives were, exactly that, private. It was a hard stance, neither an admission nor a denial. But the message was clear—Jaewoo would have the full support of his company. I was surprised, since I assumed they’d cover it up, like with Nathaniel and Sori, but maybe Sori convinced her mother to set a new precedent.

On XOXO’s official SNS, Jaewoo released an apology for the inconvenience to the hospital staff and patients the night the article was released, not explaining why he was there, but accepting responsibility for any disturbance he might have caused. The comments below his apology are filled with support from his fans, condemning the paparazzi for following him into the hospital and endangering his life by chasing him.

Though there are a few hostile comments, calling him ungrateful for his fame, selfish for hurting the band, and a hypocrite for “acting” like a prince but “behaving like a pauper.”

Seeing these comments, I have a mind to channel Sori and leave scathing replies, but I know, ultimately, that won’t help.

Sori: It’ll calm down in time. Anyway, your news is boring. Did you see the news that Lee Jae Won and Lee Tae Ra are engaged! Lee-Lee couple! I knew their chemistry in Rebel Heart was real.

Angela: I’m so happy for them!!!

Me: You guys, it’s 2 in the morning here. I’m going to bed.

Angela: We miss you!

Me: Miss you too.

I close out of our chat, but instead of sleeping, open up a browser out of habit. It’s only been a week, but I move by rote memory, clicking on XOXO’s profiles on all their SNS platforms and checking to see if there are any updates, and then logging onto their fan sites to see their daily schedules.

I can’t exactly tell, but it seems they’re just as popular post-scandal as they were before, if not more so. XOXO also released their tour dates for the All the World’s a Stage tour, kicking off in Seoul for two nights of concerts, and then traveling through Asia, Europe, and finally, the US.

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