Page 43 of XOXO

He shakes his head, a small smile on his lips. “So did you bring your cello to play for your halmeoni?”

“Yeah, she’s actually never heard me play. Is that weird?”

“My father has never heard me sing.”

He says it without any inflection in his voice, as if he were discussing the weather. I recall from that night in LA that he was raised by a single mother.

“Is he completely out of the picture?” I ask softly.

“Since I was four. Now that I think about it, for as long as I could sing.” He grins, clearly teasing me, and himself, and yet the subject is sad, no matter what. But I also know why someone might use humor to mask pain. I’ve done it myself.

“Are you heading out?” I ask, for a lighter change of subject.

“I was...” he says. “I have no other plans for the day...” He bites his lip, waiting expectantly.

“Do you...”—he concentrates on my mouth, as if willing the words from my lips—“want to visit my halmeoni with me?”

He grins widely. “Are you asking?”

I roll my eyes. “Come on.”

We start to walk side-by-side down the tree-lined path.

I don’t know what compelled me to invite him, especially with how uncertain I am of what we even are to each other. Secret friends. Secret friends who almost kiss. And if I’m okay with that. Then I realize it doesn’t matter. I’m just happy he’s here with me, and it’s a beautiful day.

“Do you usually come here alone?” I ask. “When I met Nathaniel and Youngmin in the uniform shop, there was this guy with them...”

“You must mean Nam Ji Seok, our manager. He actually does come with me, when I have my weekly sessions, but today both Sun-hyeong and Youngmin had activities on their schedules that required more of his attention. Youngmin’s shooting a commercial and Sun is filming a cooking-themed reality TV show.”

It doesn’t escape my notice that he hasn’t mentioned Nathaniel. I hope that the reason he doesn’t have a solo activity is because, like Jaewoo, he had a prior commitment, and not that he wasn’t asked.

The path opens back up to a small lawn. In the distance, Icatch sight of the grandfather and boy with the kite.

Jaewoo offers to carry a few of my things. I won’t give him my cello, but he insists on holding the loaf of bread.

When we reach the door to the clinic, Jaewoo holds it open for me. I head over to the desk to check myself in, writing down Jenny Go + 1 in the visitor logbook.

When I turn around, Jaewoo’s gone. I’m still looking around the waiting area when he emerges from a small gift shop bearing a bouquet of pink carnations.

My heart does a little flip flop in my chest.

He’s also wearing a face mask, one that covers his nose and mouth, presumably to hide his identity. Thisisa health clinic, where extra precautions are appreciated.

The receptionist buzzes us into the ward. We approach the nursing station and I introduce myself, while Jaewoo hands over the loaf from the bakery. The nurses behind the desk “eomeona” and “ah” over the baked goods, but mostly over Jaewoo, who even with his face covered, charms them easily. Then the head nurse leads us to my grandmother’s room, which she shares with three other patients.

She’s in the bed closest to the door, and when she catches sight of me, her whole face lights up. “Jenny-yah!”

I walk over and take her hands. Earlier, Mom called and said she wasn’t coming until later today, but that I should go ahead and visit by myself. I’ve never been alone with my grandmother, and at first I think it’ll be awkward, but her warm smile melts my worries away.

She leans in and says, not quietly, “Is he your boyfriend?”

“Halmeoni!” I gasp. “I’ve only been in Korea for a week.”

She giggles. “When I was your age, boys were constantly bringing me presents and telling me they liked me.”

Jaewoo laughs. “It’s still happening, Halmeoni.” He leans over to hand her the flowers.

“Eomeona!” she shouts. The other elderly patients, who’ve obviously been eavesdropping, all chuckle appreciatively.

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