Page 60 of I Hope This Doesn't Find
“I’m serious. Honestly you could do worse. He’s athletic, like you, and he’s tall, and good-looking—”
“I’m not having this conversation,” I announce. “And for the record, you’re wrong. He was probably just staring at some spot behind me; every timeIlooked over, he was watching the game with you.” I gesture to the table where they’d been seated, then pause. Julius’s phone is still lying there, faceup. He’d been in such a rush to go that he must have forgotten it. I swivel my head around, squint through the window, but he’s already halfway down the street, his lean silhouette a shadow in the falling darkness.
“I’ll be right back,” I say, grabbing the phone. As I do, I can’t help noticing that it’s still open to the girl’s account—but he’s unfollowed her already. A stone dislodges from my chest, the resulting rush of relief so strong it’s truly embarrassing. Totally irrational.
Yet my whole body feels lighter as I slip through the doorway and run after him, the evening air whipping my hair. Most of the restaurants are still open at this hour, the orange light from inside spilling out in long rectangles.
I turn the next corner and skid to a halt.
Julius is standing in front of a parked sports car. For an absurd moment, I think it belongs to one of the aunties we showed around the school. But no, this car is even more expensive, so new it’s gleaming. The windows are rolled down, and I glimpse the unmistakable face of Julius’s brother. He’s not beaming this time though; his brows are pinched together, irritation written over all the features they share.
“. . . can’t just storm off like a little kid every time you’re upset,” James is saying. “It wasn’t a big deal or anything. Our parents were merely giving you some advice—”
“How did you even find me?” Julius demands. His back is turned to me; I can’t see his expression, but the frost in his voice is clear.
“It was hardly detective work, Ju-zi. I saw your search results.”
“My—” Julius’s frame stiffens. “Those are private.”
“Calm down, it’s not like you were searching up the closest brothel. It’s just a bakery. What are you getting all flustered for?”
The restaurant lights don’t quite reach the pavement here, so I step forward quietly, hidden behind an oak tree, my body pressed to the bark. I don’t want to eavesdrop. I don’t mean to. But the words fly around my mind like hornets.Search results. Private.He’d been searching for a bakery? Forthisbakery?
“You really didn’t need to come,” Julius says tightly.
“You’re still upset,” James observes, winding the windows down farther and leaning out. “Why? Just because we wanted to know—for good reason—why you basically failed your last math test? Itisa little concerning. You keep letting that Sadie girl beat you—”
My heart hits my ribs.
They’re talking about me.
“I don’t everlether do anything,” Julius snaps, and even in the dim light, I can make out the shape of his knuckles when he clenches his fists. “She’s smart, okay? She’s a formidable force. She does everything she sets her mind to and nothing can stand in her way. Not even me.”
“That’s all?” James asks. There’s something curious about his tone, something that makes my next breath come out too short and fast, makes my heart crawl up my throat.
Julius must have detected it too. “What are you suggesting?”
“I mean, you’re sure it doesn’t have anything to do with the way you were acting around her at the bookstore? I saw the look in your eyes. I’ve never seen it before, but now—”
“You’re mistaken,” Julius says coldly.
“I hope I am,” James tells him. “This is your final year of school. This is the beginning of the rest of your life; you need to set the tone right. I don’t expect you to get a full scholarship to Harvard and follow in my footsteps exactly,but come on. Our family has standards. I would hate to see you getting distracted and losing your wits over somegirland letting all your work go to waste—”
“That’s not—”
“Because you’ll have plenty of time to date around after you get into your dream school, yeah? Once you enter college, you’ll see that there are far prettier girls out there. It’s all about timing. About priorities. And look, I understand. I do. If this is just physical attraction— If you need to hook up with her once and get it out of your system in order to focus on what matters, then by all means—”
“Stop talking about her,”Julius cuts in, and the threat in his voice almost makes me step back. Even James falters. “Don’t drag her into this. I already told you. If I underperformed on a test, that’s my own fault. I-I’ll study harder—I’ll do better—”
“I’m only saying.” James taps his fingers against the dashboard. “I never had so much trouble when I was your age. I never came second in anything. If I were you, I would be ashamed.”
I can’t explain what comes over me.
It’s like somebody has lit a flame in my bloodstream, taken control of my body. All I see is the open hurt in Julius’s eyes, the shame washing over his face, the way he hangs his head, and I lose my mind a little.
I step out from behind the tree and march straight toward the car, my hands balled into tight fists, my pulse beating fast. “For your information,” I say, my voice so loud and sharp it sounds foreign to my own ears, “Julius is one of the best students in the year level.”
Julius blinks at me in surprise. “Sadie? What are you . . .” He flushes, his eyes flitting between me and his brother. “This isn’t necessary—”
