Page 24 of Butter My Biscuit

That familiar emptiness fills the pit of my stomach again, and it’s followed by that Negative Nancy voice in my head, telling me I’m not good enough. How I’ll never have the type of love I crave with anyone. It’s harder for kids of divorced parents, and somehow, I always fuck it up.

After how badly things ended with every one of my partners, it makes me wonder if I’m just not capable of having a healthy, long-term relationship. Just like my parents.

Then, I think about my sister and her relationship with Chip. They seem happy, like they can’t breathe without the other close by, and that’s why they’re getting married. It gives me hope that maybe our parents didn’t completely fuckusup. Maybe it’s justme.

My heart thumps hard in my chest, and I have that overwhelming urge to cry again. And instead of holding it in, I let it all out. Loneliness appears, and I’m mad at myself for thinking this time would be different. I tried to be perfect, even though there was distance between us, and it wasn’t enough.

Tears splash on my T-shirt, and so I go to the bathroom to grab some toilet paper to blow my nose. That’s when I hear my phone ringing.

I pick it up to unlock it and see it’s Haley, one of my friends from high school. Her parents own Main Street Bookstore. She’s an angel, but she also has the worst luck with relationships, just like me.

“Hi!”

“Hey! Just calling to see if you’re going to the New Year’s Eve party at the bed-and-breakfast?”

I laugh. “Harrison and I are always together on New Year’s Eve. Have been since we were kids. So, if he’s there, I’ll be.”

“Well, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t planning to spend it with your boyfriend.”

The lump in my throat that the whiskey couldn’t wash away last night grows to the size of a golf ball.

“We broke up.”

“What?” She sounds as shocked as I still feel.

“He was married.”

“What?!” Now, she sounds angry.

“I know. Then, he shoved me into a closet, and I listened to them …fuck.” I can barely get the words out. The humiliation I felt—still feel.

She gasps. “No. I’m so sorry, Grace. Seriously. That’s messed up.”

“It was. I was so excited and then …” I try to speak, but the words hang up in my throat.

“Hey. This is a good thing. That guy gave me the creeps.”

“Even you saw the red flags?”

“Yes. We all did,” she admits. “You just weren’t listening to anyone. You didn’t hear what Harrison said to you on Halloween?”

I try to replay the memory, but it’s not coming to me.

“He told you to dump Joey’s ass for canceling because he wasn’t committed to you. We all agreed.”

“He says things like that about everyone I date.” I huff.

“Because he’s right. He’s always right. He even warned you about Mikey and Justin. Girl, we could go back to high school with Matt. I think you’re so blinded by the thought of love that you refuse to see what’s right in front of you even if someone is pointing at it.”

My bottom lip quivers as I think about all the warnings he’s given. She’s right. Harrison has been telling me for months, bringing it to my attention when I was ditched or stood up or when Joey couldn’t talk or was short.

“If the red flags were snakes, they’d have bitten you.”

I clear my throat. “I asked Harrison to be my dating coach. And you telling me that just confirmed my decision.”

“He’s gonna teach you how to date?” She doesn’t sound convinced.

“He agreed. But I’m also going to let him pick the men.”

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