My face mask is cracking from our talking and crying.
“Give me a second. I have to get this mask off.”
I don’t wait for a reply as I dash into the bathroom and rinse my face while taking deep breaths at all the revelations flowing out of him.He wants a relationship. Wants what Taylor and Paolo have, which is radically different from what he said a few days ago. It would be great if he wasn’t possibly going to be a dad. That possibility changes everything.
Could I get involved with someone who has what I can’t have? Would I grow to resent him? To put this into context, would I get involved with someone I met on a dating app who literally knocked up a woman last month? No. No way. Then why am I contemplating it with him? I shouldn’t. I couldn’t. I won’t.
With that defining thought, I dry my face and walk out of my bathroom to join him. I stop in my tracks. Jinkies is sitting on his lap, being petted and purring loudly. I stare at that traitorous cat who hates everyone, bites my guests, and meows loudly when anyone is in her space.My jaw might as well hit the floor with how Jinkies acts like she’s known Sebastian for ages.
“Jinkies,” I say in disbelief. “I’ve had this cat for years, and she’s never warmed up to anyone like that. She hates everyone.”
Except Taylor. Sebastian looks up at me, equally surprised.
“I swear, I didn’t do anything. She just jumped onto my lap, so I petted her like you did last time I was here.”
This is surreal. What kind of magic did Sebastian perform on my cat?
“It seems you’ve got the Jinkies’s seal of approval.” Still marveling at the scene. Sebastian laughs nervously, scratching his head.
“Yeah, maybe I can get her mamma’s.”
Thatwon’tI decided in the bathroom is quickly changing to a maybe, and I’m royally screwed.
“You might make a great father.”
I don’t commit either way to what happens next between us, and his face falls into despair again.
“Fuck”
Jinkies’s purring fills the silence forming between us while her eyes close. He’s lost in thought as I pick at my breakfast, knowing I’ll have to throw his untouched plate away. I glance at the stove clock displaying the time. As much as I hate cutting this emotional conversation off, I’m running out of time to get to the office before my day of meetings starts.
“Well, I need to get ready,” I say quietly, and he blinks his thoughts away before giving me a guilty smile. Jinkies meows her displeasure at being plucked from Sebastian’s lap and placed on the ground.
“Can I hug you before I go?”
His expression is vulnerable, if not a bit lost. I doubt anything can be done today, and the thought of him stewing in his enormous mansion alone tugs at my heart, but I can’t miss work to be with him. And I wonder if it’s my place anymore to try and help him make an important decision such as this. Deciding on a Christmas playlist for a company Christmas party is one thing. It’s quite another to figure out how to become a parent.
“Of course.”
I stand, extending my arms while he’s untangling his crossed legs from under the table. When he rises, he collapses over me, his face buried in my neck while his arms squeeze me tightly.
“I’m sorry for being such a fuck-up,” he murmurs against my skin. “If only she insisted on rubbers as you do.”
“Safe sex is more than just pregnancy prevention.”
Although condoms aren’t foolproof either, and it was his responsibility just as much as hers to request using them. It’s probably not the time to point that out, though.
“I know. I’m clean. A clean, celibate papa now. Yay for me.”
His words of despair come out as a warm whisper across my neck. I rub his back and squeeze him gently before dropping my arms.
When he pulls away, he attempts to kiss me. Instinctively, I turn my head, and his lips land on my cheek. It’s an evasive move, a reminder that our situation is complicated, and I can’t fully commit to anything until I have more clarity on the whirlwind that’s become Sebastian’s life.
There’s sadness in his expression at my action and probably the larger situation. With a nod, he backs away.
“I’ll text you. Take care of our girl.”
Our girl.