Page 61 of Sebastian

I hint at the forgotten but delicious-smelling food on the table next to him, which he swiftly moves to unpack. He opens a large box with breakfast tacos, one filled with fluffy scrambled eggs, melted cheese, and smoky bacon. The other features spicy chorizo, creamy refried beans, and a small container of zesty salsa. Another contains a stack of warm, freshly made buttermilk biscuits with various jams and butter. The aroma ofthe food causes my stomach to growl loud enough for both of us to hear.

“Can you tell I haven’t eaten yet?”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Why don’t I get a couple of plates out of that cabinet, and we can have breakfast together? The coffee machine is on the counter. Choose what flavor you like. And I’ll take a dark roast if you don’t mind making me a cup while I plate these.”

He nods, following my instructions, running the coffee maker while I divide the food. I glance into the living room to see Jinkies out of hiding and perched by the long window, watching our movements. Once everything is arranged, we return to the table to sit and eat.

“There’s. . . something I need to tell you,” he starts as I’m adding jam to a warm biscuit. The seriousness in his voice has me putting my knife on the edge of my plate.

“Okay.”

I clasp my hand in my lap and patiently listen.

“Veronica, that girl from last night. She’s my ex-girlfriend.”

I listen intently as Sebastian reveals the truth about Veronica. His confession confirms what I had suspected—their familiarity and closeness had been a telltale sign. He’s deflated. His shoulders slump as he leans toward the table, and I can see the despair on his face.

Last night, Veronica’s stunning appearance made me briefly reflect on my own feelings. I might have felt insecure when faced with such beauty in my younger years, but age has brought a sense of self-assuredness. Life experiences have taught me not to measure my worth against others.

“Thank you for being honest with me. I understand that sometimes these things can be complicated. Is she the reason you came here today?”

I keep my tone neutral, not wanting to complicate things by feeling rejected last night.

“Yes, but not just for that reason. There’s more to it.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “She’s pregnant, or that’s what the tests said last night. I guess we need to go to a doctor or something to be one hundred percent sure.”

He’s up and out of the chair so fast it rattles on its legs to remain upright. His heavy steps pace the floor as he anxiously looks from me to the living room and back.

Pregnant.

I’m reeling at his unexpected revelation. My heart skips a painful beat, and my breath seizes as I process his confession. She's pregnant withhisbaby. Sadness suddenly grips me as the realization sinks in, a tidal wave of fear crashing over me, knowing that my own inability to have children has now collided with the fact that Sebastian, the man I care about, is going to be a father with someone else. Despair knots in my stomach, and my fingers tremble at this cruel twist of fate.

“Say something, Chloe,” he pleads, absolutely wrecked by this strange turn of events.

As I struggle to hold back tears, my mind splinters in a million directions as to what this means for us, what this means to me, and the bitter irony of life’s heartless joke. But I shove all my feelings aside when I see his turmoil.

“I didn’t see that coming,” I admit, empathizing with him. “How do you feel about it?”

“Can I be honest?”

He looks downright ill when asking me, coming to stand by me and then collapsing in his chair again. I lean forward, leveling my gaze with his.

“It’s the only way to be.”

“I don’t want kids,” he whispers as if confessing to a murder and then looks down at his untouched food. The lines on hisface deepen as he clears his voice. “Does that make me a bad person?”

Not a bad person, an honest one. Something I haven’t entirely been with him, especially with my own battles of infertility. The words remain on the tip of my tongue, ready to confess, but then he lets out another exhausted sigh, and I realize now is not the time.

“It’s a lot to take in, Sebastian. It’s a significant life-changing event. Fear and uncertainty are completely normal reactions. It doesn’t make you a bad person to have those feelings.”

I notice his sadness and decide to share the piece I’ve been holding back from him.

“You know, I wasn’t sure I wanted kids either. Growing up poor, it just didn’t seem fair to bring a life into the world until I could afford it. When I finally could and thought I had the right partner, I tried but couldn’t. Battling my endometriosis and having to have some procedures over the years to treat it . . . I’ll never be able to have kids.”

The tears I was holding back reappear and tip over the edge of my lower lids. Sebastian quickly hands me a napkin and grasps my hand across the table to comfort me.

“Fuck, Chloe. And here I am talking about kids when you can’t have them. I’m so sorry.”