Page 14 of Sebastian

“You didn’t like me holding your hair.”

A breathless whisper escapes when I say, “I hated it.”

The smile playing on his lips widens, displaying those adorable dimples. “Yay, you completely hated it.”

I don’t. We both know it. I need a moment to figure out why I liked him holding me by the ponytail as he passionately kissed me. The more time I spend with him tonight, the more curious I become. I stand, needing to put some space between us to sort out my attraction to him.

It’s not his age. I’ve dated younger men and couldn’t care less. It’s not his wealth. I’m surrounded by that all day at work. It’s not his larger-than-life persona, although that is slightly off-putting. His sweet and sensitive side, the private version of him here with me, is tugging at the strings of my attraction.

I walk further into his garden, hearing his quiet footsteps behind me and the warmth of his tuxedo jacket engulfing my frame as he drapes it over my shoulders.

“It’s going to get colder the further you walk,” he murmurs as if not wanting to disturb me as I stroll and think about him being a customer and our make-out session.“Why did you say not everyone gets what they want for Christmas?”

I stop to address him. Earlier, I didn’t want to answer it, or at least not tell that version of Sebastian the truth. But this version, the open and vulnerable one, would be more likely to be understood.

“I didn’t grow up like this.” I wave my hand toward his estate.

“I assume most people don’t.”

I press my lips together as I choose my words carefully. “Christmas wasn’t special. There were a lot of us kids. We were already living hand to mouth so . . .”

I release a slow breath, causing a swirl of white smoke to lift into the air. The lush gardens are significantly colder, with the tree canopy trapping the lower temperatures toward the ground.

“You didn’t get gifts?”

“No. No gifts, no decorations, and certainly no Santa Claus. Except this one time when he came to our school. We could whisper in his ear what we wanted. I thought that was really special at the time.”

I smile through the sadness that I still feel for that little girl. The teachers looked on fondly, encouraged me to the front of the line, and made me believe it would happen. It didn’t. Santa Claus wasn’t real, and my life never changed until I left that house.

“Now? I really wished he had never come. Giving kids false hope is not spreading Christmas magic at all.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.”

His finger caresses the hollow of my cheek while giving me a tender look that’s too uncomfortable to bear.

“It was a very long time ago.”

I walk away, stifling the old emotions that always arise when I think back to past hurts. We’re both silent, strolling past the lush plants and fallen tree blooms, taking in different fountains and features illuminated by the carefully designed garden lighting.

“What is this exactly?”

I point to the trail as it winds at a decline around the bend.

“Originally a dirt jogging trail, much like the one at Memorial Park,” he begins, his tone laced with reverence. “Then Mamma hosted a luncheon for her society ladies at the Ima Hogg house and transformed the gardens into what you see now. She had this paved since it gets more treacherous closer to the Bayou’s edge.”

I pause and gaze up at him, my expression softening.

“I’m sorry about your parents.”

His lips tighten in response. Even though he didn’t personally share this information with me, Taylor did, and I can’t help but feel empathy for him. While our circumstances are different, I understand the emptiness that can come from not having parents around, having grown up without knowing my biological father, just a string of my mom’s boyfriends who were often users, abusers, or jerks. He licks his lips, clearly affected by my comment, and I touch his arm.

“Thank you.”

His response is clipped, and I retract my hand from his arm, feeling like I might have made a misstep by commenting on his loss.

“We should head back to the party. I’ve been neglectful in my hosting duties.”

“Of course.”

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