Page 16 of Something like Love

Maybe Polly was right. Maybe Iama huge mistake, one she wishes she never made.

I’m going to be sick—again.

Running to the toilet, I flip the lid, but no matter how hard I try, nothing comes out. I’m dry heaving, but my body has nothing left to give. It won’t allow me to purge my memories, the one thing I so desperately want to push out of my body forever.

How can this be happening?

I thought coming here would answer all the questions of my past. But it has done the opposite. I am now plagued with so many questions, ones I’m afraid may never be answered.

I feel dirty and unclean. I feel used and lied to. I just wish I didn’t feel because the pain is choking me alive.

A pair of hands wraps around my middle, pulling my back to his warm front, and I sag in exhaustion.

“How can this be happening?” I whisper to Quinn, closing my eyes in defeat.

“I wish I had the answers, Red,” he replies, resting his chin on my shoulder and kissing my cheek.

I know who does, and as much as it kills me, I have to find out why. I won’t be able to move on until I face my past head-on.

“How do you feel?”

“Dirty,” I reply honestly. “I fucking pulled a gun on an innocent girl. What the hell is wrong with me?”

I squeeze my eyes shut, as I won’t allow myself to cry.

“Nothing is wrong with you,” Quinn says, and his kindness has a single tear rolling down my cheek.

“I want to take a shower.”

Quinn slowly rises and walks over to the shower before turning it on. As the steam from the hot water fills the room, my aching body gathers what little strength I have left to stand, and I reach for the hem of my T-shirt.

Without a second thought, I pull it over my head and toss it into the corner of the room. As I work on unzipping my jeans, I realize Quinn remains in the room. But biting my lip, I continue to shimmy them down my legs until I’m standing in nothing but my black bra and underwear. Unsure if this will freak him out, I reach around and unhook my bra, holding the front when it snaps free.

Quinn turns to look at me, and as he takes in my near-naked appearance, he gives me a small smile.

Standing bare in front of a boy a year ago would have scared the shit out of me, but now, it really doesn’t.

I have grown and overcome the fear of connecting with a stranger. And I know I have to do the same with my mother. I don’t expect miracles, but I have to at least try. Even if Iwasa mistake, I need to know why.

No matter how hard it’ll be, I’m no quitter. I’ve come this far, and I refuse to give in.

Quinn reaches forward, and when his fingertips lightly brush over my fallen bra straps, goose bumps break out over my entire body. His gentle touch gives me the strength to slowly peel my hands away from my chest and let my bra drop to the ground.

I raise my eyes to meet his, and he’s the perfect gentleman as his gaze never wavers from my face.

Taking a small step forward with his eyes still focused on mine, he gently reaches for my waist and draws me toward him, his fingers flexing on my skin. He then hooks his thumbs into the waistband of my lace underwear and slowly drags them down my legs. Once they pool around my feet, I step out of them, standing completely naked.

I shiver, but I’m not cold.

I shiver in yearning, as I have never felt as desirable as I do right now.

Quinn’s hands glide up my flesh and then down my arms as he interlaces our fingers, leading me to the shower. I step into the bathtub, and as soon as the warm spray hits my skin, I let out a small moan of pleasure. It feels better than I could have ever imagined, and I close my eyes, stepping farther under the mist of water.

As my body instantly warms to the scalding temperature, I sag in relief, and the heat does wonders for kneading out the knots in my back. Reaching blindly for the shower gel, I suddenly feel it being placed into my outstretched palm. I give Quinn a small smile as I open my eyes, not able to really see him too well through the dense mist, but I see enough.

Unlike him, I am not chivalrous, and I can’t stop myself as my eyes drop to the huge arousal in his pants. The sight has my mouth running dry, and I reach for the faucet to decrease the temperature before I combust.

Quinn smirks when he sees my actions, and with a faux sigh, he says, “My eyes are up here.”

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