Page 108 of Something like Redemption

I do as he says because I need to buy some time before he kills me.

He finally stops pacing and pulls up a chair, straddling it so we face one another.

Justin looks like a crazed man. Beady brown eyes narrow on my face, and his lip curls in distaste when I whimper under his cruel stare. He stinks to high heaven, and his dirty, grass-stained white T-shirt, which has a yellow tinge around the collar and underarms, may be the reason.

Overall, Justin is no longer the man I remember him to be.

“It’s funny. Seeing you bound and gagged doesn’t give me the satisfaction I thought it would,” Justin sneers, looking at me with nothing but hatred.

I’m hopeful he has come around, but I know I’m wrong as he rises from his chair and pistol-whips the right side of my temple.Blood trickles from the wound, slipping into my ear. I see stars.

“Better,” he says with a smile, retaking his seat.

My head lolls to the side, and I wish I could cover my ears because the buzzing noise rattling around in my head scrambles my already sore brain.

“No passing out,” he says, steadying my wobbly head in a vise-like grip under my chin. “I want you to hear everything I’m about to tell you.”

I break free from his hold because his touch makes my skin crawl, but I nod, indicating I’m listening.

“Good girl. What I told you was true. I did have a huge crush on you. All through high school, you seemed so far outta my league, but that time when I found you crying and comforted you behind the gymnasium. You let me in, so I thought maybe you felt something for me too. I was so inexperienced when I kissed you, but the kiss was perfect. And even though I’d kissed a few girls before you, they never made me feel like you did.”

I still don’t understand what this has to do with me being tied, gagged, and bleeding in front of him.

“Anyway, after that, I thought maybe you’d felt it too, but I was wrong. The next day, you acted as if I didn’t exist, and that fucking hurt. I was so lonely, and I knew you were too. So I thought maybe we could fill that void for one another, but you didn’t care. You went on like I never existed. And I faded into the shadows, watching you from afar.”

That is so creepy. I don’t even know how to process it.

“Two years later, you did it to me again when I sat alone on the sofa at that party because no one wanted to talk to the weird, poor kid. Do you remember that night?” he asks, his hateful eyes never leaving mine.

I nod, and my breathing increases as I see a pattern.

“That was the night you tore my fucking heart out. I had finally gotten over you, even dated a few girls, but then you came and sat near me, acknowledging me after ignoring me for so long. And all my feelings for you came rushing back.”

I think back to why I sat beside him.

It was because I was waiting for Mickey, the local quarterback. I only agreed to do the drop-off because he paid good money for a gram of coke. He texted me while I was rummaging blindly through his parents’ pretentious mansion, looking for him, and asked that I wait for him downstairs. He was on a beer run and would return in twenty minutes.

I had been bored among the jocks and cheerleaders, and I saw Justin sitting on his own, so I figured I’d kill some time by talking to the only person I could tolerate in the room.But I didn’t realize he had feelings for me. I would have pushed him away when he kissed me if I’d known.

“Ah, so you do remember,” Justin says, watching me closely as I replay the events in my mind. “Why did you kiss me back, Mia? Why? You should have told me no and not led me on if you never liked me!” He reaches out, slapping me so hard across the face that my head snaps back from the force.

But I push past the pain because I need to know how the story ends.

“After you left me sitting on the couch like I didn’t matter…I followed you.I wanted to tell you once and for all that I was sick of being ignored and that I loved you.”

My stomach drops as I know what comes next.

“I saw you dealing to Mickey,” he snarls, his lip curling in distaste.

I’m not proud of my actions, but I still don’t understand why Justin is so mad.

He sees the confusion in my eyes and kicks back his chair, towering over me.

“Do you know why I was the shy, weird kid?”he asks, bracing both hands on the back of my chair so our faces are inches apart.

I shake my head.

“Because my dad was a junkie, Mia. I was so introverted because my family life was so fucked up, and I just couldn’t deal. Then I saw you, and I knew you’d understand because I could see that you were lost, just like me.”

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