Page 21 of Finding my Shifter Soulmate

She starts to shrug, but stops, holding my gaze. Then she shakes her head. "No, I don't feel special. I never have."

My mouth falls open. "Do you remember yesterday when Sayang referred to you ask my mate?"

Sabrina's eyelashes flutter as a frown pinches her face. "Yeah, but what does that mean?"

"In the shifter world, when one soul calls to another, we recognize that one is meant to be our other half, our bonded mate. It’s a feeling unlike any other, one of instant recognition and pure longing. It means fate chose us for each another. It means that, given the right timing, given the right alignment, we would find each other and be bound together forever. I was chosen for you, just as you were for me."

Sabrina watches my face, her demeanor shifting slowly. A hint of a smile plays with her lips, but she's doubtful. "Like destiny or something?"

"Exactly like that."

"Wow." She breathes the word slowly and deliberately, dragging it out, gazing around the room. "That's... intense, Gede."

"It is, but that doesn't mean you don't have a choice in it. The bond isn't complete until you choose to be marked."

Sabrina's eyes go wide once again. Her full lips pop open, but nothing comes out. I can see it on her face the second she recalls what I told her about Rama wanting to mark her and why.

So I add, "Fated mates are a simple concept, but it’s actually a bit complicated. You should always get a say in how it goes for you. The idea of claiming a fated mate is inherently a possessive one, even if it's mutual. I would never do what Ramadesires to do, Sabrina. I would never remove your autonomy like that."

Her shoulders sag as if with relief. "I appreciate that," she tells me.

"I understand that it is a lot to ask, and I won't rush you. You can say no, and I'll still care for you and protect you for the duration of your stay."

"Oh." She blinks. "Are you asking me right now?"

I snort, feeling a smile creep across my lips. "I'm letting you know that I would very much like to mark you, to make you mine forever. If you need time to consider, that's okay."

"Um." Sabrina averts her eyes, looking at the statues again. "I won't tell you I don't feel something between us, because I do. I'm just not sure what. Just a few days ago I was convinced I'd never date anyone ever again. And what you're talking about is basically marriage, right? It's a big deal."

It's natural for her to be unsure. So I don't push. All I can do is present the possibilities for her. "It's a bond, a commitment to each other for as long as we live. And the mark itself will last forever, just as we will."

Her face flushes. Sabrina looks stunned. "Okay, then. I think I need some time to process all of this, if that's okay."

As hard as it is, I nod. At the moment, there's nothing else I can do. I've opened the door for her, and all I can hope is that she steps through it. If not now, then someday. I've fallen for her, fast and hard. And I know that this is something that runs far deeper than attraction.

It isn't long before I need to return to the other side of the island, to walk the boundaries and stand guard against the threat of Rama. Leaving Sabrina feels wrong, but I have no choice, so I tuck her away in my home and ask the shifters in the area to keep an eye on her. Just in case. I don't think Rama would be bold enough to infiltrate this side of the island, but I've underestimated him before. And I won't let it happen again.

Chapter Fourteen – Sabrina

It's the first chance I've had to be alone in days, and I should be seizing the opportunity to sort out my thoughts, to gather them in my hand and look at them, to decide. That's the sensible thing to do.

Instead, as I wander through Gede's mansion in the middle of the jungle, exploring the different hallways and doors, my mind wanders to my family back home. It's just my parents, and we don't talk that often, but I miss them. We didn't stay in close contact after I moved across the country for school. There's nothing like being alone in a foreign country to make me long for a familiar hug. My mom always was good about making me feel better when I was down. I didn't even tell them that I was coming to Bali in the first place, so that conversation is going to be interesting.

Especially because... I'm not sure if I'm going back home.

All at once, I feel homesick and untethered, a buoy floating on the ocean with nowhere to go. Right now I could use a touchstone, a home base, someone to remind me who I am.

Wandering down a hallway toward an atrium, the sunlight trickling through the floor to ceiling windows draws my attention, as well as my reflection. For a moment I recall the girl I used to be. Overworked and exhausted, not to mention insecure and lonely.

I hardly recognize myself anymore.

The dark circles are gone and my skin has a sun kissed glow to it and is several shades darker. It makes my cheekbones stand out more than usual and does crazy things to the colorsin my eyes. Gede's desire for me has made me more confident, sexier. At least, that's how it feels.

Slowly, a smile creeps across my face. I look healthier than I have in a long time, and the one person I want to thank for that right now is Jean. I pick up the phone, deciding it's time to tell her everything about where I am and what I'm doing. Well, maybe not everything, but at least the barebones of it.

"Hey, chick, how's it goin'?" Jean chirps when she comes on the line.

A warm laugh flies out of my mouth and the anxiety about calling leaks away. "You are so chipper."

---