Page 90 of Purely Novel Intent (Mile High Romance)

For my one true fantasy – may the story never end

Chapter 1 - He was possibly the most attractive man she’d ever seen in person. With his tousled brown hair, green eyes, and golden skin, he projected the rugged, carefree persona she had always found attractive, mainly because she believed it meant a guy didn’t take himself too seriously.

“I don’t understand? This is exactly what I gave you, just printed? Why?”

“Skip to the second chapter.”

One denim-clad leg seemed to be tucked underneath her. The other tapped the floor under her desk. Her blond hair was piled in a haphazard knot atop her head, though a few strands had fallen loose and framed her face. Dark-rimmed glasses rested on the bridge of her small nose, magnifying her dark brown eyes. The glasses coupled with that messy hair and faint blush, she looked, well, like she’d just finished a workout, and not the kind you get at the gym. She was the epitome of the sexy librarian stereotype.

The woman wasn’t doing anything but typing, yet she was positively captivated by the screen, which captivated him. Until this moment, he never realized just how attractive such an intensity could be. Hell, not just attractive, downright sexy, in an understated sort of way. Standing there, watching her face alight by the words appearing on the screen, he had to admit he was undeniably drawn toward this woman who was endlessly sensual without even trying. It wasn’t until she started that he realized he must have been staring, and he had the sudden urge to pull her to him and calm her fears, but if he moved he would break their stare, and he couldn’t find the strength to do that.

I gasp and look up from the pages in my hand. “Did you do this for every chapter? You wrote it from your perspective?”

“Yes.” He looks into my eyes. “I wanted you to know how I felt, every step of the way.”

I flip to the chapter about the launch party for Engage.

Every time he saw her, every time he talked to her, he only ended up craving more. It wasn’t just that she was effortlessly beautiful; there was an intensity to her thoughts that intrigued him. He’d spent a fair amount of time with women who were beautiful to look at, but the conversation didn’t progress beyond small talk. In just a few conversations with her, he knew what her passions were, he knew she had wit, he knew she had loyalty, and he knew she wasn’t conscious of any of those things. It was just who she was. She was beautiful inside as well as out, without realizing it or even trying.

I flip to the chapter about our first date.

He loved how she was game to do something beyond the typical small talk over a meal. Something that gave real insight into her mind, like they were making a connection beyond what was on the surface. It didn’t hurt that they’d held hands the entire time, either. It was starting to feel like he could have a relationship with this woman. The thought terrified and excited him.

My heart beats wildly in my chest. Chris had matched me chapter for chapter, telling me about the qualities he admires and the connection he feels to me. I knew we both felt pulled to each other early on, but I actually assumed a lot of our connection was purely physical, at least in his mind. But with these words, he’s telling me it goes far beyond that. I wipe away a tear and flip ahead to the chapter about our fight.

This was coming out all wrong. Yes, he’d been shocked to learn that she wrote romances. But it wasn’t a shock because he disapproved. It was a shock because he found out through Harper’s surprise visit and Jason’s confession that her romance writing caused them to split. That breakup had wrecked Jason, and he’d only recently started to recover. So yeah, his feelings were all mixed up knowing that there was a connection between Lisa and Harper, and he’d probably let that confusion influence too much of his reaction, to the books and to her work with Engage.

Was it likely that her books would hurt Engage? No. But investors, himself included, were conditioned to look for the red flags. You never knew how far someone would dig and what they would consider a risk. He didn’t know that the books were a red flag, but he didn’t know that they weren’t, either. And since his biggest fear was failure, the only way he knew how to succeed was to avoid everything that might be a red flag.

At that point, so much was running through his mind: Jason’s heartbreak, Charlie’s dream, Lisa’s proximity to all of it, he couldn’t process anything. So he ran. And his world shattered.

Once again, he was just a shell, going through the motions of life but not actually living it, only this time he was acutely aware of what he was missing. Before Lisa, he’d learned to live with a vague sense of loneliness. It crept up from time to time, but it wasn’t constant. It wasn’t physically painful. That was gone, replaced with emptiness, which oddly enough came with physical pain. The ache in his chest when he thought of her, the pounding in his head when he replayed their fight in his mind, the shortness of breath when he thought about the future they might not have after all. He’d never felt any of that before. Hell, he’d never been in love before, and now that he’d finally found it, he hadn’t been able to hang on. And he was worse, so much worse than before, knowing what love felt like yet being unable to have it.

At first, he had been angry. Angry that he was aware of what he had lost. Then resentful, blaming everyone but himself. Then nothing. Nothing at all. Just empty. He wanted to hate her for making him feel this way, but the only person to hate was himself. He was the one who let confusion and fear take over. He was the one who made her question her place at Engage. He was the one who left. But the thing he was most ashamed of was that he hadn’t shown her the same love she’d shown him.

Her love was unconditional. It didn’t come with terms. And when he’d had the opportunity to show her the same kind of love, he failed. When faced with a challenge, he’d panicked and run away, only realizing his mistake when she made him see himself through her eyes. He was flawed, but she loved him anyway. And in that moment, he finally understood what had eluded him when he’d let the confusion and fear take over.

He’d thought love was about finding the right person, when it’s just as much about being the right person. You couldn’t have one without the other. Lisa was the right person for him. He needed to be the right person for her. That didn’t just mean appreciating how unique and fascinating her mind was, it meant believing in her and her dreams. It meant trusting her and knowing she’d be true to herself and to him. And it meant acknowledging that having the best intentions means nothing if they hurt the person you love most.

His words are beautiful. Tears are streaming down my face when I look up. “I didn’t realize you were a writer.” I sniff.

“I’m not really, but you helped me get started.”

“Do you mean this?” I whisper.

Chris’s eyes look glossy as well. He nods.

“You are the most important thing in my life.” Chris takes my hand and presses it to his lips. “I forgot that the other day. I let my fear of failure, of letting Charlie down, get in the way of my feelings for you. That’s the real failure, not loving you as unconditionally as you do me. But I promise, I will never make that mistake again.”

“And my books?” I ask. “You don’t think they’re a risk? You don’t have a problem with them?”

“No. I was letting my fear over Jason’s experience spill over to Engage. I know you won’t write about us, not for the world to see anyway. Whatever you write, under whatever name you choose, is up to you.” He cups my face and wipes away a tear. “Besides, the romances are pretty good.”

“You read one?” My eyes widen in shock.

“Yeah.” He kisses me softly. “Actually, it gave me some ideas. And I kind of like the idea of helping you research some things to put in them.”

“Are you serious?” I shriek. “I can’t write about us!”

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