Page 63 of Deny Me

Staring at him, I thought there was no way I was going to make it through the night. If I did, I was going to end up assaulting him. How did this man seem attractive before? Had so much changed in the past few months? Had Jameson ruined me for any other man?

“Nice,” her eyes flicked to mine with a forced smile and eyebrows raised. “So, what can I get you two to drink?”

“This little lady will have a red–”

“White,” I interjected.

“Right. A white wine. And I’ll have a scotch on the rocks.” He winked at me before continuing. “And since of course we’re friends of the owner, we thought maybe we could … sample … some drinks. Friend to a friend.”

“Taylor!” My eyes shot wide. I could not believe he’d just asked for free drinks. The man who flaunted his wealth was asking for free drinks. He only shrugged like it was no big deal. Fuck, my blood was boiling. “Ignore him, Angela. He’s being a dick right now,” I ground out. “We’ll just take the drinks. I’m not hungry.”

“Yeah. Sure.” She turned to walk away but gave one last glare to Taylor before going to get the drinks.

A hot rush infused my cheeks from a mixture of embarrassment and anger.

“I don’t see what the big deal is. I know plenty of business owners and they’re always willing to help me out. I pay them back with golfing trips and beer.” He waved his hand like he was swatting away my annoyance.

“I’m going to run to the restroom.” I needed a minute to calm down.

Walking away, I kept my head down to avoid looking at anyone. My focus was on reaching the bathroom so I could calm down enough to go back out and tell Taylor what a giant mistake our date was and then to leave. Pushing the door open, I was blissfully alone. I leaned onto the sink and turned on the cold water, running a paper towel under it and bringing it to my neck to cool down.

I stared at myself in the mirror, trying to reconcile the eyes I saw looking back at me. They were both familiar and completely strange to me. What had happened? Who did those eyes belong to? Because they didn’t look anything like the confident ones that I’d been staring at three months ago. And they didn’t look like the shining blue ones filled with happiness just over a week ago. They were dull and heavy, filled with sadness and doubt.

I shouldn’t have come. The date was a mistake. Going to King’s was a mistake. Everything was a mistake, and my body felt weighed down by all the mistakes I was making, each one chipping away at my already weak confidence.

Squaring my shoulders, I stared myself down in the mirror and remembered my anger. I was going out to tell Taylor that he was a dick and to fuck off. I was doing at least one thing right.

Walking out of the bathroom, I stopped dead in my tracks, almost choking on my heart where it was lodged in my throat.

“Jameson,” I whispered, all previous bravado gone.

He leaned one shoulder against the wall in the dim hallway watching me. His broad arms crossed, his body backlit from the bar beyond. Even in the dimness, I saw his jaw ticking.

Swallowing my nerves, I tried again. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to my date.”

His laugh seemed loud in the small area around us. “Your date? You mean the dickhole that wanted free drinks because he was friends of the owner?” He stood to his full height and dropped his arms, walking toward me. “That’s who you’re seeing over me?”

Shoulders back. Head high. Voice strong. I repeated it over and over again, trying to fight off the way I wanted to crumble at his feet and beg him to hold me.

“Jamie-Boy,” I laughed, using his nickname to try to break the tension. “It was never one or the other. I was just getting ready to leave and wanted to enjoy my last bit in Cincinnati. I can’t do that with one man. Come on. You know me. You know I don’t do … monogamy.” The words burned my throat coming out like bile. All of them lies.

He’d finally reached me and pressed me up against the wall despite my effort to stand my ground. This close, his eyes reminded me of the way they looked in Jamaica. But behind the challenge sparking in his eyes, sadness lingered, and it pinched my heart knowing he was hurting.

I needed to end this,I kept trying to remind myself. If I didn’t we would keep going until another job possibly took me away and I gave it up again. Or I didn’t and he stood by, putting his life on hold as he waited for me to return. But if an opportunity came up where I didn’t return. What would happen then? I needed to end it before I fell too deeply in love with him and sacrificed my dream to keep him.

Or worse: what if he decided to come with me and gave up his dream of expanding King’s in Cincinnati. I couldn’t be held responsible for that. It was best that we give up now rather than drag it out.

“You know I can help you enjoy anything. Especially more than that pussy out there.” He growled, placing both his palms on the wall on either side of my head.

“Come on, Jameson. Don’t drag this out. You had to know this was coming.” I tried to put the most bored look on my face as I pressed my trembling body against the wall, leaning on it for support.

He leaned in and nudged my hair away from my ear with his nose, returning my words. “Come on, Evelyn. I thought we were done with the games.”

“I don’t want to be with one man for the remaining time I’m here. I’m busy and I don’t feel like keeping up with a relationship,” I stated as coldly as possible.

“Oh yeah? Then why can I see your pulse pounding in your neck?” His tongue dragged up from my throat until he bit my chin. “Are you excited that he could come back here and see you turned on by a real man? I remember how much you love the idea of being watched. How excited it makes you.” His breath brushed against my ear, teasing me.

“Jameson…” I pleaded on an exhale. My ability to turn him away was waning. It was hard enough when he wasn’t right in front me.

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