Page 55 of Deny Me

Twenty-Three

My mom endedup staying for a few more hours, and I did my best to ignore her glances at me and Jameson. She had seen me with guys before, it wasn’t uncommon for me to have one on my arm for a night or two, but even I knew there was no way to deny the way I let Jameson hold me and the way I stared up at him with adoration. I knew I was going to hear about it the next day at the spa.

Jameson took me home in the wee hours of the morning and stripped me bare before tucking me into his bed.

The next morning, I woke up to soft kisses starting at my clavicle and working their way up to my neck. When they reached my ear, he nibbled and whispered, “Happy birthday, beautiful.” Feeling something placed on my chest, my eyes shot open to find a small box in front of me.

Sitting up in bed, I bit my lips to hold back the smile trying to explode across my face. “My birthday was yesterday.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t have time to give you your gift then.”

Looking up, I was hit with his smiling eyes. Those eyes lit a fire inside me. Something that choked my breath and filled my entire body. He was such an amazing man, and every time I looked in his eyes, I wondered why I hadn’t done this sooner. Or maybe it was just Jameson. He made my heart fill to the brim and I found myself holding back tears.

Blinking, I looked down and focused on unwrapping my gift. Lifting the lid, I was greeted with a silver-chained necklace. The charm was two stamped circles. The smaller one was silver and said ‘Genius Works’ and the smaller one was copper and said ‘Talent Creates’. On top of the two charms rested a perfect pearl.

“It’s your birthstone.”

I only nodded as I struggled to hold back my emotions. I wasn’t ready to look up. His large hands came into view and removed the necklace from the box before leaning over me to clip it around my neck. It rested perfectly above my breasts against my skin.

“You’re so damn smart, Evelyn. You run your business all on your own, and you do it better than anyone else ever could.” His finger stroked down the chain and fingered the pearl. “And you are the most talented artist I have ever known. I am awed by you.”

I gripped his hand tightly in mine. I didn’t know what to do. I may as well have been a virgin for as much panic as I felt trying to sort these feelings out. My eyes were welling up, and I was failing at getting the tears under control. I took one last effort to lighten the mood. “That’s because you don’t know any other artists, Jamie-Boy.”

Placing his fingers under my chin, he lifted my head to look at him. His eyes widened when he saw the wetness rimming the edge. Every part of me wanted to jerk away at all the emotion bouncing between us. I was so used to never letting anyone see me as weak. But this was Jameson. So I stared him down and let him see exactly how he affected me, affected my heart. Letting him know that he was inside my heart.

“I know plenty of artists. You’d be surprised the people I come across at the bar. And you, by far, are the most talented, beautiful person I have ever had the privilege to know.” He leaned in, gently pressing his lips to mine. Leaving them there, just slightly touching, he muttered the words I didn’t think I would’ve ever been prepared for. “I love you, Evelyn.”

They whispered across my parted lips and reached into my chest for a response. I love you too, Jameson. It was there – right there – being tugged out to reply. Instead I clamped my lips shut and inhaled deeply through my nose, fighting them back. No matter what the previous years had held, I’d never, never, said those words to anyone other than my mom and Lu.

The time after he said I love you seemed to last forever. I was swirling in a downward spiral of panic while the words choked me. I didn’t know what to do, and part of me seriously considered rolling out of bed and making a run for it. But I wanted to give him something. Just because habit and fear held me back from saying the words, didn’t mean I didn’t feel it roaring through my body. Just because I couldn’t say it, didn’t mean I couldn’t show him.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed my lips to his, forcing all the passion into my kiss. I attacked him, nipped at his lips, pushed my tongue into his mouth, hoping he could taste the words I was holding back. Things felt like they were going to be okay despite my inability to say the words when I felt his strong hands stroke down my body, soothing the panic in me. I rose to my knees and shoved the covers aside, moving to straddle his long legs.

He was sitting up against the headboard, with his legs stretched out in front of him. At some point he must’ve put boxers on and I made it my mission to remove them from him as soon as possible. Rolling my hips over his erection, he thrust up, increasing the friction. I made my way down his chest, flicking my tongue across his nipple, pulling a grunt from him.

Gripping his waistband in my fists, I tugged down as I leaned in to tongue at his navel. He lifted his hips to help me get his boxers off, and by the time my mouth had reached his dick, there was nothing holding me back.

My heart, still full of emotion from what he’d said to me, urged me to move faster. To do more. I flicked my tongue across his bulging head and then took him in all the way to the back of my throat.

“Fuuuck.” His hand had pushed into my hair to move it aside so he could watch my lips stretch along his girth. Moving my eyes to stare up at him, I reached under to cup his balls and drew my mouth up. Dropping back down again, I relaxed my throat to take more of him in. “Fuck. Evie.”

His hands tugged at my hair, and I relished the sting that moved through my scalp into my body, hardening my nipples. Closing my eyes, I pushed harder and focused on the task of sucking his dick. I moved fast, rolling my tongue along the ridged base of his head, sucking hard on each pull.

“Fuck. Stop. Stop. This isn’t how I want to come,” he panted above me.

My lips popped off and I flicked the slit on his cock one last time before crawling up his muscular body, letting my breasts sway with each movement of my shoulders. His narrowed eyes took me in as I moved in to bite his chin. The more I took control of the situation, the more my panic eased. Making the choices and being on top came naturally, and I found comfort in the routine.

Straddling his hips, I placed my wet pussy on the ridge of his erection and slid back and forth, letting him feel how wet I was. That close, I wasn’t keen on looking into his eyes, not wanting to be confronted with the love pouring out of them. “I’m going to fuck you,” I whispered into his ear.

His growl vibrated against my breasts mashed against his chest, and it was the only warning I got before Jameson took control. I didn’t know what I expected. It was one of the things I loved about him. He didn’t treat me like he was intimidated by my dominance. He just dominated harder.

His hands dug into my hair and pulled me back, forcing me to consider his narrowed eyes. He searched my eyes, studying my face, looking for what was buried underneath. I wanted to move away, but pride prevented me from dropping his stare. Instead, I let him look and with just his thumb stroking across my cheek, I cracked. My façade of controlling the situation was gone, and I let his midnight blue eyes see inside me. I let him see how scared I was and how much I wanted to say the words, but couldn’t.

And he let me get away with it. But he did it on his terms. Leaning in, he kept his eyes open as he bit into my bottom lip. He had to be able to feel my panting breaths against his lips when he licked the bite and finally kissed me. It wasn’t until I wrapped my arms around his neck and fell fully into his kiss, opening my lips and letting him in, that he closed his eyes and gave me everything he had.

The sex started as frantic and fast then morphed into slow and passionate. He held me tightly to him, like he was afraid I was going to bolt. Instead, I let myself sink into him and feel everything about him. The way the light dusting of hair on his chest abraded my nipples, the way his heart beat harder and harder. I took it all in, cherishing every second of this first time. He was making love to me, and I had never let anyone do that before.

He was my first.

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