Page 20 of Deny Me

We ended up walking through the beautiful garden/jungle to be shown to a section of isolated, first floor rooms that each had verandas that opened to the beach.

Before walking into my room, I couldn’t help but notice that Jameson’s room was only three doors down on the end. Not that it mattered.

The rooms were simple. Everything was white and only contrasted by the wooden accents and the terracotta tiles throughout. Past my king-sized bed were glass doors leading out to a large veranda and the most gorgeous view of white sand and the bluest ocean I’d ever seen.

I dropped my suitcase at the door and rushed to open the doors so I could hear the waves crashing against the shore. I inhaled the salty air, trying to take in all the wonder stretched out before me.

With a smile on my face, I unpacked and fell flat on my bed, closing my eyes and listening to the beauty of the ocean singing to me.

* * *

The following nightfound us at one of the many restaurants located at the resort. They had blocked the top floor of the restaurant with white sheer curtains that gave us some privacy for the rehearsal dinner, but still allowed the hypnotic beat from the steel drums to reach us. The other side was open to the ocean, and the waves’ soft roar offered contrast to the music below.

We all sat around one table with our own private bar off in the corner. I felt like I had been deliciously dizzy all day from the alcohol they served morning, noon, and night. The women had spent the day stretched out under the warm sun, holding coconuts filled with rum. If you ever ran out, a young Jamaican man would come by and happily hand you another.

The guys had walked down the beach, exploring, leaving us women to turn our pale winter skin into a kissed-by-the-sun, island tan. I may or may not have kept one eye cracked for Jameson, but they never came to lay with us, so I hadn’t seen him all day. Thank God we broke earlier for a nap, otherwise I wouldn’t have been prepared for the rehearsal dinner. Not that it was much of one. There was nothing to rehearse. The resort provided everything for us: cake, flowers, photography. We just had to show up looking our best and ready to say “I do.”

All night, we all sat around laughing, sharing stories about the happy couple. My cheeks cramped from laughing so much.

Taking in the laid-back, happy faces, I couldn’t help but think that if I ever got married, this was what I wanted it to look like. A laugh bubbled from my lips at the thought before I downed the rest of my wine. Like I would ever get married.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Juliana, Jack’s sister, stood up and tapped her knife against her water glass. I didn’t know what it was about the McCade genes, but day-um, they produced some tall, blue-eyed, sharp cheek-boned children. The whole lot could be models. I made a mental note to ask her if she would ever consider modeling my clothes.

“Hey, everyone,” her sweet, soft voice called for attention. “So I just wanted to say a few things about my brother and his beautiful bride-to-be, Luella.” She cleared her throat and gripped her glass tightly, letting her emotions show. “Jack is the best brother a girl could ask for. I mean he was annoying and overbearing,” she laughed. “But he always made me feel like I had someone to protect me. And seeing him smile and laugh makes me so happy.” She shifted her eyes to Lu. “I couldn’t have asked for a better woman for my brother. A fellow scientist,” she added jokingly. “You both complement each other perfectly, and I wish you the longest and happiest life together.” Lifting her glass high, she finished off, “To Jack and Luella.” We all reciprocated and took a drink.

Everyone fell back into conversation, and I looked around the table, eyeing Jameson, innocently in conversation with Shane, who interestingly, had his eyes glued to Juliana. But my focus was more on Jameson as an idea struck, pulling a smirk to my lips. We had been cordial to one another since we got here, but we hadn’t quite returned to our bantering ways, but being relaxed and slightly buzzed encouraged me to push him.

“Jameson,” I called out. He paused mid-conversation to look at me, one eyebrow raised in question. I gave it a moment as a silence to fall around the table. Lifting my lips up in a mischievous smile, hinting at what was to come, I asked, “Why don’t you make a speech? I mean Juliana did and all. You don’t want to be the only sibling left out.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw, showing his frustration at being cornered. “I don’t think anyone wants to hear me speak, Evelyn,” he hedged.

“I would love to hear a speech from my big brother,” Lu chimed in, winking my way. I winked back reveling in our bond to torture Jameson.

His shoulders heaved with a put-upon sigh and his large frame rose from the table. Raising his glass, he spoke quickly and gruffly. “To my sister and Jack, may you have a great life and a happy marriage.” He brought the glass to his lips, but quietly spoke to Lu before taking a drink. “Love you, Lu.”

It was forced and short, but I still saw tears prick Lu’s eyes. She loved Jameson, and he was a rock, lacking many emotions besides irritation. So the quick words spoken to her meant more than any long speech we could have forced him into.

He sat back down and turned to me with a look that said, “happy now?”

I put on my most innocent, happy smile in return, making him shake his head and take another drink to hide the smile he couldn’t keep off his face.

That was the thing about our relationship, it always righted itself. Lu called it equilibrium and tried to relate it back to science like she always did. But no matter what, it always returned to a balance. However, after the incident last month, things had gotten so serious and it had become harder and harder to fall back into the equilibrium.

Why?

I couldn’t put my finger on the why. Maybe because we were just growing up. Maybe because Jameson had changed and was looking for that “something serious” in his life. Maybe it clashed with my refusal to change.

Soon the plates were cleared and we left our perch on the top balcony of the restaurant, moving to the patio where a band was set up. Flickering tiki torches and stringed lights lit up the paved area above the beach. I sat off to the side watching the couples move to the clang of the steel drums. The fast music from earlier had faded to a slow, rhythmic beat that urged couples to hold each other close and cherish the moment.

“The wedding party should have to dance with each other,” Luella announced, grabbing Jack’s hand, tugging him out to the center. “Shane with Evelyn, since they’re the maid of honor and best man. And Jameson and Juliana since you have to walk together down the aisle tomorrow.”

“Lu, you know I don’t dance,” Jameson protested.

“You do for my wedding,” she demanded. “Now get on the floor.” She turned and became lost in the far side of the crowd, not allowing Jameson to argue.

I didn’t mind one bit. Shane was a handsome man. He was shorter than Jameson and had a buzzed head. But he was muscular and looked like he knew how to handle a woman.

He grabbed my hand and led me to the floor, close to Jameson and Juliana. After giving me a small twirl under his arm, he pulled me close. The way his hands splayed across my back didn’t give me the excitement I was hoping for. They did make me think of the way Jameson’s hands felt on me. Like that time he had me against a wall in the storage closet.

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