Page 77 of The Honest Affair

She huffed and shuddered again, but eventually, she lifted her head to look at me. “Okay.”

“Do you really think I would do that to you?” I asked, looking straight on. “I know I’m not an angel, Nina, but do you really think I would do that to you of all people? To my own daughters, if I ever have them, God willing?”

She sniffed. “So many do.”

“I’m no saint, baby, but I’d like to think I’m not ‘many’ people either. Especially when it comes to you.”

Her eyes shone like soft gray stars in the outer stretches of the universe. The remnants of her tears clung to her lashes like diamonds. “No,” she said softly. “You’re definitely not.”

“Well, then. How about a little trust now? I think it’s time.”

“I’m so scared,” she whispered. “Signora Marradi, Matthew. Did you see her? So hard. So empty. If you…if you ever did to me what he did to her…it would ruin me, don’t you see? And yet, every moment I spend with you, I just fall that much more in love. You own me, Matthew. You t-truly do.”

With that, she started to cry all over again. The confession hurt her more than she wanted to show.

I pulled her close again, hushing her sobs, letting her shake into my arms.

“I don’t own you, Nina,” I said as I stroked her hair. “And I never will. But we belong to each other just the same. Remember what you said? About making each other soar? That’s all I want, Nina. That’s all I’ve ever wanted since I met you.”

“How do I know?” she whimpered. “How do I know that’s really true?”

Her hair was silk under my rough hands. I could have held her like this forever. But instead, I gently nudged her up so I could cradle her face, splotched though it was with tearstains and emotion, between my hands.

“You don’t,” I admitted. “Until I can show you, every day until our lives are done. That’s why it’s called faith, baby. You have to believe.”

She closed her eyes, like she was praying herself. And then, slowly, she nodded.

“Okay,” she said. “I understand.”

Slowly, I leaned forward and kissed her. It was a slow kiss. Gentle. And it was possible I needed it more than she did. But she opened to me like the petals of a flower, and we took solace from each other’s touch for several long minutes until she had stopped shaking and I could no longer feel repressed sobs vibrating through her body.

I sat back, still cradling her face between my hands. “Better?”

Shyly, she nodded. “Yes. Better.” She bit her lip and shifted slightly as her eyes dropped to my mouth.

Suddenly, I was very conscious of the fact that she was sitting in front of me in just a flimsy piece of silk. And, if the temperature of the room was any indicator, nothing more than that.

With both hands, I traced the path of her cheekbones from nose to temple, then drifted my hands over her jaw, down her neck and to her waist. Then, with a sudden move, I pulled her firmly onto my lap so she was straddling me with her long legs, giving me clear access to her graceful neck and smooth chest. God, she was magnificent, even in barely more than scraps. More regal than she could possibly know.

I licked the side of her neck, eager to taste her perfection. Nina shivered, her hands digging into my shoulders, but keeping me close.

“How about,” I said after I did it again, “you let me show you how true it is, Nina? Let me show you how I feel.”

She shivered again as my teeth grazed her skin.

“And then?” she asked. “When you’re gone again, and I’m overtaken with worry and fear? What will you do then?”

“The same thing,” I said as I continued my progression of licks and nips over her shoulder so I could push aside the flimsy strap with my nose. “Again and again, Nina. Don’t you understand, baby?” I sat up straight so I could look her in the eye. “I’ll never stop wanting to love you. I’ll show you again and again, for the rest of my life if you let me.”

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