Page 37 of The Honest Affair

“Please,” Matthew whispered, his smooth, deep voice croaking slightly; from cold or want, I couldn’t say.

His right hand left my breast, and then I heard the telltale clink and zip of his belt and pants zipper. Then both hands dropped, and my skirt was pulled up my legs, crinkling around my waist so I was bared to him from behind.

In front of me the city glimmered. I closed my eyes, wanting nothing else than to feel his body close.

Matthew slid between my legs, and the slick welcome there might have told him everything he needed to know. Still, he remained poised at the entrance, waiting for my consent.

“Please, Nina.” His voice rumbled at the base of my neck, his stubble scraping over my skin. He wanted me to turn. Wanted me to kiss him. But he was waiting for me to choose. “Say you forgive me, baby. I’m begging you.”

I arched my neck as he sucked deeply over my pulse, like he was eager to take any sign of life from me. Honoring each beat of my heart that was for him.

But the words he wanted…I wasn’t capable of them. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

How could I explain to him the betrayal I still felt? I loved him, yes. I was fairly sure at this point I would love this man always. But in my moment of need…he had failed me. He had believed the other side. Searched for the worst in me instead of taking my best.

But that didn’t mean I didn’t want him. It didn’t mean that right now, on this rooftop, I didn’t need him. In fact, I had never needed anything more.

I reached around and grabbed his hand, then pulled up my dress in the front so he could feel me on both sides. His fingers followed my lead, slipping around to find the bare skin and sleek, groomed remnant of hair, then pressing deeper to find that concentration of pleasure I could almost swear was made for his touch alone.

My clit. Yes, my clit, I thought to myself. No more euphemisms. No more veiled language. I didn’t want to be afraid of my own body anymore, of my own pleasure. Matthew’s fingers were on my clit, and they were rubbing and pinching and moving in that rhythm that I had thought at one time only he could find, but now I knew I could find on my own too, maybe teach someone else, another man, someone worthy of me, someone who loved me, someone who would never hurt me…

The idea sliced. I groaned. No, I couldn’t think about that. Right here, right now, there was only Matthew, and how badly I needed his touch, even if I couldn’t accept his love.

“Do you feel that?” he asked. “Do you feel how badly I need you, Nina?”

His cock slipped between my thighs, back out, and in again. Another word I whispered silently to myself, embracing the crass, carnal beauty of what we were doing, what we were about to do.

Cock.

Pussy.

Ass.

Clit.

I wanted them all. I wanted him to take them all. I wanted all of him, and I wanted him everywhere.

And so I straightened my arms against the railing, pressing myself back into him, allowing him to take a solid grab of my hips with both hands and slowly, slowly, to press his considerable length deep inside me.

“Matthew!” I choked as he filled me completely.

He was not a small man, and it always took a moment to adjust. He waited patiently, bending over my upper body to whisper dirty nothings into my ear, hum lightly, let me feel his warmth through my back, my legs, arms, all parts he touched.

And then he stood straight again and really began to move.

“Oh!” Each moan erupted from me in time with his unforgiving, deliciously harsh thrusts.

“Does that feel good?” he asked as he urged me to brace myself against the rails. Then he took my hand and guided it back around his neck, urging my fingernails to dig into his skin. Matthew loved a little punishment. He loved a little pain when he took me.

When he fucked me, I corrected myself.

I raked down the side of his neck. He hissed, then stood up, and suddenly, his palm met my ass with a slap that echoed off the sides of the buildings behind us and across the street.

I jerked forward, shocked by the sudden arrows of desire that shot through me with each harsh blow.

“Is that what you want?” he demanded as he pummeled forward. He spanked me again. “Just like that?”

“Uhhhh, yesssss!” I hissed back.

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