Page 23 of The Honest Affair

It wouldn’t matter if it was for an hour or a lifetime. Any time spent in that shithole would never be okay.

“Are you all right?” This time I set my hand on top of hers. “Now, I mean.”

“I’m so…oh, Matthew, I’m so angry at you still. But…I miss you.” Her head dropped, like she was deeply ashamed. “I do.”

Words bubbled up before I could stop them. Fuck, I wanted to hold her so badly.

“Nina, I’m so sor—”

“Don’t.”

I frowned. “Why the fuck not?”

She sighed, staring at our hands entwined. Our fingers weaved together, light and dark.

“Because. I’m not ready to hear it.” Before I could stop her, she pulled her hand away. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come here.”

She slid off the stool like a stream of water, set an embarrassingly large bill on the bar, and started toward the door before I could stop her.

“Shit,” I muttered. “Nina, wait. One more thing!”

She turned. “Yes?”

I gulped, grasping for straws. And then, by some miracle, I found one. “Eric and Jane’s Christmas party. Are you going to be there?”

She stilled. “I—yes. Why? Were you invited?”

“Well, yeah. They are friends. Would you mind if I came?”

She swallowed, and for a moment, I thought she might say yes. I told myself it didn’t matter. I wasn’t planning on going to the party in the first place, since I figured she’d be there and wouldn’t want to see me anyway. If I was smart, I’d just lie low for a while and definitely away from the Gardner case and anything to do with it.

But I wasn’t smart. When it came to Nina de Vries, I was the dumbest man in New York. All she had to do was crook her little finger, and I’d come running.

After all…what more did I really have to lose?

“No,” she said. “I wouldn’t mind.”

Relief flooded me. “Well, all right then. I guess I’ll see you there.”

I turned toward the other end of the bar with every intent of using other patrons to make my cool exit.

“But, Matthew?”

I looked back. “Yeah, doll?”

The nickname made the side of her luscious mouth twitch, but she didn’t smile.

“You’re not forgiven. Not even close.”

Maybe not, I thought to myself. But for the first time in months, I found myself able to see a possibility of a bright side. Maybe the fact that she was bringing it up meant that it could change. Maybe there was hope after all.

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