Page 35 of Last Comes Fate

Xavier seemed to notice something amiss in my tone. He turned back to me, then brought my hand, still clasped between his, up to his mouth and pressed a firm kiss to my fingers.

“The only thing I want is you and the baby, healthy and happy,” he said solemnly. “Boy, girl, I don’t care. Whatever they are, they’ll be a gift. Just like the daughter we already have.”

It was a very,verygood answer. Just like the hope that shone from his expression.

I swallowed hard.

“Heartbeat sounds good and strong,” Dr. Kyler said as she clicked over the image, taking a few other measurements. “I’d say you’re nine and a half weeks along, based on these measurements. Which puts conception right at the beginning of August.” She turned to us triumphantly. “About what you thought?”

Xavier’s gaze flickered over me, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet it. I couldn’t even answer her question, flooded as I was with sudden emotion. The beginning of August…well, it wasn’t the start of summer, when London had felt like a magical place full of possibility and love. August was the beginning of the end for us. It was when we’d left London for Kendal. When Xavier had transformed from the handsome, impetuous chef I’d fallen in love with into the cold, reserved duke who’d broken my heart.

August meant it could have been either version of this man who had overcome such banal things like birth control pills to knock me up a second time. It might have been the one who swept me into my bedroom and promised me the world when he finally came down from his office…or it was the man who took me hard against stable walls out of frustration, anger, and passion.

God knew I loved them both.

But only one had really loved me back.

I sniffed as tears sprang to my eyes. “I—yes, um. That sounds right.”

“Yeah,” Xavier said quietly. “The first nights in Kendal.”

He sounded so forlorn—could he have been thinking the same as me? Could he feel as hopeless and despondent over what that period meant to us then…and how it shut down our future now?

I couldn’t bear to see it on his face if he were.

The doctor pressed a few more buttons, then removed the wand while the machine printed out a series of images. I pressed my legs together, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

“Everything looks good and normal,” she reiterated. “But I’d like you to schedule an echocardiogram just to be safe.”

Xavier and I both swung around as though we were puppets on strings. An echocardiogram was definitely not normal. I hadn’t had to do that with Sofia at all.

“Why?” I asked. “Is there something wrong with the baby’s heart?”

Just like that, all the lingering warmth in my chest froze into pure terror.

Xavier’s hand in mine had turned to ice.

“Nothing to be alarmed about,” Dr. Kyler said warmly as she shut down the machine and cleaned off the wand. “I just hear a slight murmur, so I want them to check it out. It’s probably nothing. Totally normal.”

There was that word again. Normal. For something that seemed to me to be very outside the norm.

“Are you sure?” Xavier asked. “We can take the truth.”

“I’m sure,” Dr. Kyler said, though she was facing the machine, preventing either of us from reading her face. “It’s just a precaution.”

“Do you hear that?” Xavier asked me. “She’s fine. The baby’s fine, all right? We’re just going to be safe, babe. Just breathe.”

He took both of my hands in his large, warm ones and held them tight until I stopped shaking. I didn’t correct him on calling me babe or pull away. Right then, I didn’t care about making him remember that we weren’t together. I just needed to feel safe, like he said. And Xavier was the only one who could make me do that.

I followed his instructions, taking several deep breaths until my own heartbeat returned to normal.

“Okay,” I replied at last with a weak smile. “We’re going to be okay.”

“You’re brilliant,” Xavier said softly.

When I met his adoring gaze, my heart nearly stopped again, but for entirely different reasons.

Dr. Kyler handed me a cloth to clean myself up, then turned to give us a moment while she flipped on the lights and shut off the ultrasound machine. I cleared my throat, sitting up and dropping my feet from the stirrups while I pulled the paper sheet back over my knees. I was grateful for something to do other than meeting the sharp blue gaze of the man next to me.

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