Page 11 of Last Comes Fate

Xavier paced back and forth in a tight formation while he spoke. “Well, obviously you’re returning to London. We’ve got better hospitals. We’ll go private, of course, but NHS is still there if you need it. Sof can do her last year of nursery in London, and meanwhile, we’ll get her into the best primary school the year after. No need for you to work or do much of anything unless you want. But there’s loads more to get done—set up a new nursery at the flat, to start. I’ll call Elsie, have her get in touch with the decorator. Ces, what is it?”

He stopped moving to inspect me with interest. I must have looked like a ghost, because with every item he listed, it genuinely felt like a pint of blood drained from my face. By the time he was finished speaking, my mouth was fully agape, and I had grabbed hold of a post to steady myself.

“Ces, what’s wrong?” Xavier scanned my body again, this time in a completely un-lascivious manner. “Are you all right?”

“I’m—I’m fine.” I finally managed to regain control of my features and stand up straight. “I’m just wondering what fairyland you’re living in right now where you think any of that is actually going to happen.”

All the hope on Xavier’s handsome face was immediately replaced by his trademark scowl. “Come again?”

I took a deep breath, then gave a great sigh, counting to ten as I did. This was not the place to lose my temper with him. “Xavi, I hate to disappoint you, but we’re not moving back to the UK. You can be a part of this child’s life as much as you like, same as with Sofia, but none of us are leaving New York.”

A storm was brewing on his face, the same as it might off this very coastline. His fists curled into tight mallets at his sides.

“That’s absurd,” he said through his teeth. “You can’t just make that decision on your own.”

“What, like you just did?” I countered. “That was a lot of planning you made without consulting me.”

“Ces, I realize you have connections in New York—”

“If you call living theremy entire life‘connections,’ then sure.” If he hadn’t been blocking my path down the jetty, I would have marched back to said connections right then, gossip fest be damned. “I have ‘connections.’ Personally, I would call it a family. Friends. Literally everything that makes me happy. People who don’t abandon me with strangers and run around behind my back and break my heart. But, sure, ‘connections.’”

Xavier looked like he’d been slapped.

“I have an entire business to run,” he continued as if I hadn’t even spoken. “Two, actually, if you count the dukedom and Parker holdings. Not to mention my uncle just died—”

“Yes, and I am sorry for that, but—”

“Leaving me to manage a thousand-year-old estate without anyone else to replace him,” he finished. “Even if I wanted to, I can’t just uproot everything for you. It’s bloody unreasonable!”

He couldn’t have hurt me worse if he’d tried.

I wasn’t being unreasonable. Some things had to matter more than money. Things like my kids. My family. My job, even if it wasn’t the one I wanted right now.

I knew I had already pledged not to take Xavier back, but there was obviously still some part of me that wanted Xavier to put me first in a meaningful way, just once. Otherwise, hearing him so clearly do the opposite wouldn’t hurt so damn much.

Why was I the only person who understood these priorities? Why was I the only one expected to be flexible and mold my life around my family’s needs instead of taking care of my own? Why was he allowed to prioritize his job and businesses and career while I was supposed to leave everything important to me?

I wasn’t asking for anything out of the ordinary.

Scratch that. I wasn’t asking at all.

Besides, we weren’t that couple anymore. The one that would do anything for each other. If we ever were. I might have been carrying his baby, but that didn’t mean my life belonged to Xavier Parker. That didn’t mean I had to put his personal interests before my own.

Not anymore.

And the truth was, I couldn’t wait for a man to put me first anymore. Kate was right. I needed to take care of myself. And that did not mean leaving everyone I loved for someone who had already proven he did not have the ability to put anyone first but his stupid, gorgeous self.

“That’s all up to you,” I said between my teeth. “But I’m not leaving my support system. Not after what happened this summer.”

“Are youfucking kidding me? Afterwhathappened this summer, exactly?” The storm clouds in his eyes flashed as if struck through with lightning. “Are you talking about how I provided for you and Sofia completely while I managed a family crisis? Or where I introduced you to every part of my life without asking a thing in return?”

“I am not doing this with you again,” I informed him, though my jaw was grinding, holding back a shout. “We’ve had this fight too many times to count already.”

“Maybe it’s the moment you walked out on me without a word that you’re referring to?” Xavier rambled on. “Maybe that’s what you’re trying to avoid, eh? Actually owning your own mistakes. Taking real accountability.”

“You can’t tell me what to do anymore, Xavi!” I cried. Lord, the tears were coming fast, thanks to the fact that I had fully transformed into a Francesca-shaped ball of hormones. “We’re over! I’m sorry, but that’s the truth. So you don’t have the right to dictate my life—not that you ever did!”

“Well, Idohave a right to be there when my child is born!” Xavier thundered right back. “And you’re not going to take that away from me again either!”

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