Page 113 of Then Come Lies

“Don’t want to overdo it,” he told her as he worked. “You want the dough light and fluffy, but the gluten still needs to activate.”

“Got it,” Sofia announced as she mixed her “dough” in her bowl with a spatula. From where I stood, it looked more like flour and maybe salt or sugar mixed together. “Light and fluffy. Like a puppy dog.”

“That’s it. Now, see what I’m doing here? I’m pulling it apart to look for the window pane. Once the dough stretches enough to see through it but not break, you know it’s ready. Just a bit more.”

I leaned against the doorway, watching them interact. I hadn’t seen Xavier this calm in weeks, his voice taking on an almost meditative quality as he narrated his actions. Sofia didn’t really seem to take in much, but she mimicked him every so often as she mixed her own concoction. They were both clearly enjoying each other’s company and the act of being in the kitchen together. Somehow, in the depths of this overwrought palace, they’d found a corner to call their own. A place to feel at home together.

My heart ached with the desire to join them. Oh, I wanted to be a part of this. I wanted it so badly I could taste it.

But was it even possible anymore?

“What are you making?” I asked, startling them both to the point Sofia’s spatula went flying, and Xavier huffed loudly, causing a cloud of flour to rise into his face.

“Mama!” Sofia crowed. “You scared us!”

“Sorry,” I said as I walked into the kitchen and joined them on the other side of the island. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

“Sofia rescued me from the office,” Xavier mumbled as he went back to kneading his dough. “She was hungry after her nap, so I brought her down here. That all right with you?”

The slight sharpness in his tone had me on alert again.

“Of course it is. But Gibson is setting out things for dinner too. And isn’t there a cook on staff?” I looked around for said cook. I wasn’t expecting that Gibson was coming back down to prepare everything himself.

“Everything’s done and in the warmer,” Xavier said, not looking up. “I can make my own and finish everyone else’s myself.”

“Oh, do you really have to—”

“I’ve got it, Ces.” He looked up then, blue eyes straight as arrows on the other side of the counter.

“We’re making man goo, Mama,” Sofia said proudly as she held up her bowl of something that roughly resembled sand.

“It’smanju,” Xavier corrected, more to me than her.

“It’s a dessert,” Sofia added. “Like a cake. Or a cookie. Dad, which is it?”

Xavier just shrugged as he slapped the dough down on the counter, then used a pastry cutter to split it into smaller pieces. “It’swagashi,” he answered. “Sort of like a cake, I guess. With red bean paste inside.”

“Is this your creation?” I ventured, hopefully. Xavier’s concoctions were always really good.

“The dough is,” he said shortly. “The rest is traditional. Like my mum made it.” He offered a smile to Sofia. “Your gran, Sof. You would have liked her.”

He went to work, flattening each piece into a rough round. Sofia abandoned her mixture and crawled across the counter to watch him work with me. I opened an arm to help her snuggle against my side, uncaring of her floured mess rubbing onto my clothes. Her little warm body simply felt nice. I hadn’t known how much I needed a hug right then, even from my little girl.

We watched as Xavier dropped scoops of a dark paste into the center of each flattened piece he’d cut, then efficiently wrapped the dough around it and sealed it at the bottom. When he was finished, he had a dozen neat buns laid out on a piece of parchment, which he placed into a large bamboo steamer, then popped over a pot of water I hadn’t even known was boiling until that moment.

“All right.” Xavier turned back around and started the process of cleaning up. “Ten minutes and we’ll have a nice treat to ruin dinner.”

I smiled at his joke, but he didn’t appear to see it, focused as he was.

I picked up Sofia and set her on the floor. “Pea, why don’t you run upstairs and ask Miriam or Elsie if they can help you get dinner in the nursery. I’ll bring you up somemanjuwhen they are ready.”

Sofia, already bored with the idea of cleaning up, nodded, then scampered off in search of the nanny.

I turned back to Xavier, who looked at me warily as he wiped down the counter.

“I thought you were going to wait for me,” he said mildly.

“I did,” I told him. “But I didn’t want to hound you, so I went to the gardens to wait. And that’s where I ran into Frederick. And, ah, Adam.”

---