Page 69 of Careless

My dreams are very different from my visions. I don’t feel the heat from flames in my dreams. I don’t feel anything. Only in my visions. There’s a big difference.

“Carmen didn’t mess with my head! Francine is in danger!” I take a deep breath and try to compose myself. “Let’s play devil’s advocate for a minute. Let’s say it was a dream. Why didn’t she look the way she does now? Her hair was different. It was dark.”

Finn rolls his eyes. “Are you sure it was Francine? Her mom looks just like her, except her hair is brown.”

I ponder that alternative idea. I’ve met Bethany a few times. The resemblance between the mother and daughter duo is uncanny, but I can tell the difference between them.

“No, it wasn’t. Bethany’s hair is natural. Francine’s blonde roots were showing. When she dyes her hair dark, you’ll know I’m right, and that I’m not crazy.”

Finn stands, gives me one more look. He says nothing and walks out the door, a yawn falling from his lips. I understand he’s tired, but he doesn’t need to be an ass about this.

“Babe.” Rian tries to soothe the emotions he sees I’m trying to hide and touches my arm, but I yank it away, my self-consciousness getting the best of me.

“I know what I saw. I’m not crazy,” I snap.

He gives me a sympathetic look before stroking my hair. “I don’t think you’re crazy, kid. I believe you, but he isn’t as open-minded as I am. Plus, he’s protective of Francine. He can’t let himself believe that something bad is going to happen to her that he’s not there to protect her from.”

I catch the irritation on his face and it nearly makes me laugh.

He’s jealous that Finn can be free to express his emotions for Francine so openly, and we can’t. They have been open about their relationship, and overly affectionate. I’ve sworn a couple times that it looked like they were about to screw on school property.

Gross.

We aren’t hiding our relationship, if that’s what you call this. We go out together and Rian spends a lot of time here, but we’re respectful of how others would feel. We aren’t an affectionate couple, only when we’re alone. I think us staying quiet about being together is really gnawing at his agitation toward Francine and Finn being together.

We’re held to different rules than they are. Finn did say for me to do whatever makes me happy, but I still have that fear that when he finds out that Rian and I are together, my life as I know it will end. Finn and Rian will both disappear, and I’ll lose everything.

I was supposed to do what was right for everyone by staying away from Rian, but I couldn’t. Everything changed completely on Halloween night. Since then, Rian has been by my side constantly, and I really like having him around.

I find safety and comfort in his arms and don’t even get me started on the sex.

“We’ll talk to him later about it. Like you said, she hasn’t dyed her hair, so there’s no need to panic right now.” Rian soothes my worries, and presses a sweet kiss to my lips.

“Thank you,” I whisper when he releases the kiss.

“Let’s go back to bed.” He pulls me to my feet and lifts me into his arms as I lay my head on his chest. Rian carries me down the hall and to my room, closing us back inside our haven.

The thoughts of what’s to come still plague me, but I can rest easy knowing whatever we have to do, Rian will be here to help me.

* * *

“Okay,ladies. Listen up closely because I’m only going to say this once,” Coach Hatcher announces as the entire dance team stands together, waiting for instruction.

I sneak a peek at Francine, who rolls her eyes like none of this matters at all. I wish it didn’t matter, and I didn’t care what our coach has to say, but I love being on this team. It took a lot of hard work to get here and this is our last year together. I plan on dancing after high school, regardless of if I get into Rice or not. Hopefully, if I get accepted, I’ll join their dance team. If not, I’ll find somewhere to dance.

Maybe Marion, my pole dancing instructor, will have some ideas for that.

If I didn’t have the most possessive man in history constantly up my ass about anyone seeing my body, I’d seriously think about being an exotic dancer. I don’t mind people seeing me naked and I love pole dancing. I’m fairly new to it, but Marion says I’m a natural.

I wouldn’t do it my whole life, but it could be a fun way to get an income while in school. No one would have to know.

But, there’s Rian, and being as trigger happy as he is when it comes to me, I’d probably lose all customers within a few days,ifanyone was stupid enough to hire a Bastard's girlfriend.

When the coach is satisfied she has everyone’s attention, she starts, “The closing season’s show is at the beginning of December. That gives you a little over a month to get your routine down. The school has authorized the concept that you girls get to come up with the routine yourself. I thought that was a rather stupid idea, but I was outvoted. Principal Jordan wants to see a routine and song choices that tackle problems facing women today, a way to show that he supports feminism. You’ll be practicing and meeting privately. He doesn’t even want me knowing what you ladies decide to do.”

What? Full creative freedom? Is he even allowed to do that? Well, he is the principal, so I guess he is.

“Get to work,” Coach Hanson says before shaking her head. “Fucking airhead with a god complex,” she mumbles under her breath as she stomps from the soccer field.

---