Page 44 of Careless

No matter what, we always end up back together, facing off like two opposing forces ready to wage war, but I’m always the one to surrender. Maybe that makes me weak. Maybe I don’t care.

* * *

Rian sitsat my kitchen table as if this is the most natural thing in the world, and like my dad isn’t staring daggers at him. I would be highly embarrassed by the awkwardness weaving around us if Rian didn’t tell me last night that my dad knew he was in my room.

However, I’m too pissed at my dad right now to recognize any other kind of emotion. Was he being manipulative when he said that Rian and I being together would end in both his and Finn’s death? If I ask, he won’t tell me the truth, and that leaves an unsettling sensation in my stomach.

Although I know the truth, I don’t want to hear him lie.

I set a plate of eggs and toast in front of my dad, and put another one before Rian. He sends me an appreciative look as I place down two mugs of coffee in the middle of the table.

I’ve always been the person feeding everyone who walks through the door. It’s something I learned from Judy.

The Walsh household was always full of snacks and premade food so everyone who walked through the door left with a full belly. Judy was an amazing cook, and I’m still a novice.

I grab the cereal and milk, all the while sensing eyes on me.

The clank of my dad’s fork hitting the wood table breaks the weird silence. “What are you doing?” he asks in an incredulous tone.

Pulling a bowl from the cupboard, I respond. “It’s my cheat day.” I fix up my cereal with milk and a dash of sugar. I’m not that worried about it, my cereal is on the healthy side, supports heart health and has a lower carb count than the others.

I take a seat at the table as my dad continues to stare at my cereal, like it's about to sprout legs and dump itself on its head.

“Since when do you eat cereal?” he demands, giving Rian an accusing look.

But, Rian? He just takes a big bite out of toast with pride, knowing that he’s the one who helped me.

“I’ve started having one cheat day a week for about a month now. It’s good for my mental health. You’re usually not around on those days.”

Rian and I would have ran out the door this morning and gone straight to school to bypass this awkwardness. However, there’s no way I’d be able to concentrate. I want to be readily available when Tiernan gets the results from testing the blue pill. “Mental health… is important.” My dad’s eyes shoot to Rian, narrowing like he’s waiting for Rian to go off the deep end.

Is he bringing up Rian’s mom? Rian isn’t that damn fragile.

I take a big bite of my cereal and nearly moan from the sweetness on my tongue.Yup, cheat days are the best.

Finally, my dad stops looking at me like my mind has been taken over by a parasitic alien, and focuses on his food.

I bring the spoon to my mouth for another bite but am interrupted by two different ring tones going off. Rian and my dad snatch their loud phones off the table. Rian’s expression is blank while my dad looks confused.

“What’s wrong?” I ask as my dad gives me a sideways glance before he taps on the screen.

“Tiernan just sent out a code red. He’s directing everyone here. Why is he doing that?” Confusion has my dad scratching at his stubble, but I can’t move. My lips are frozen and my entire body turns cold. I have to swallow my bite of cereal that wants to come up as my head spins.

“Because he has the results,” Rian says and gently touches my arm. His contact pushes me through the frozen state I’m in.

“Let me guess. Carmen tried to kill me again.”

The shadows creep in and I can feel the shadows’ long, slender fingers skating across my bare shoulders. They want to drag me under and do what Carmen failed to do.

What once was gray now shifts to black in my vision, but I can’t tell if it's an illusion or if I’m about to faint.

“Sorcha.” My dad's voice tries to tie me to the present, but it's the sound of another voice that anchors me and saves me from the darkness.

“Kid, look at me.” Rian’s voice breaks through like a hurricane and blows away all the spots threatening to destroy me.

His ocean blues pierce into mine intently as he grasps my shoulders tight. He grounds me in this moment where I almost completely lost myself.

After a few calming breaths, I respond. “I’m okay,” I say, more for myself than anyone else.

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