Page 38 of Careless

My gaze flickers between the bottle and her pleading eyes. I don’t trust this witch as far as I can throw her, but I have a feeling I need to take the bottle from her.

I step forward and quickly snatch it out of her hand then open the door, pulling Rian in behind me.

“You can leave now.” I slam the door behind me, not giving my egg donor another look. With the door securely between me and my past suddenly, all the strength in my body evaporates. I barely make it to the couch before my body drops. Rian is right there, his arms pulling me close.

“What’s wrong? Talk to me.” His voice is low and soothing, deft fingers smooth back my hair as I cling to him. His scent soothes the hurricane of emotions raging inside me as he trails kisses along my hairline. “That’s it, baby. I’ve got you.”

He’s always got me. Ever since he picked me up from that muddy puddle, Rian has been my Prince Charming, the one I always look for when I’m scared.

“Rian,” I whimper his name before pressing my lips against his. The kiss is quick, soft and full of love as he works to erase all my nightmares. “Thank you.”

“What was she talking about? Something about shadows?” he asks as he squeezes my fingers and gives me his full attention.

“I don’t know how she knows. I’ve never told anyone because I know people would think I’m crazy.”

“You’re not crazy, kid. I know crazy and that’s not you.”

My heart swells from his words, but he wouldn’t say it if I told him my truth. I take a deep breath and exhale my secret. “Sometimes I see things that aren’t real, Ri. I always have. I don’t know why but I know it's not real. There are shadow type objects that blur my vision, they kind of look like signs and symbols. If I want them to go away, typically I just need to rub my eyes then ignore them.”

He’s unaffected, listening closely. I know this next part will change everything. He’ll leave me and that scares the shit out of me. But it’s something I need to do.

“Since I was little, I’d have these dreams. They were vague scenes that wouldn’t paint the full picture. Random numbers, a dripping faucet, and the creek of stairs was one of my dreams. I never know what they mean until it's too late, and it's usually something bad that I could’ve stopped.” Tears trail down my face at how I’ve failed the people I care about. If only I could decipher these dreams, I might be able to help them.

“You have premonitions in your dreams? When did they start?” he asks, his blue eyes full of…curiosity. No trace of disbelief or an underlying question of my sanity.

I hold back the sob and continue with what needs to be said. “A month before… your mom…” I trail off, knowing what mentioning her does to him. It’s a trauma he hasn’t dealt with yet.

His eyes darken as I watch the breath catch in his chest, the sudden intake breaks my heart. He pulls his hands away and squeezes them into fists in his lap. His eyes shift away from me as he takes a minute to compose himself.

“You saw my mom killing herself in your dream?” His tragic blue eyes move back to me as guilt swarms my chest, tightening around my lungs. Suffocating me. But I have to continue.

“No, it didn’t happen like that. Her death was horrible for you, but it also was a huge loss for your friends, for me.” We all lost his mom. She was the person who treated me like I was her own daughter. She taught me that kindness goes a long way, that love is beautiful and true love lasts forever. I still love the woman that brought this man into my world. I’ll always be grateful to Judy. “I’m so sorry, Ri.”

He dips his head for a moment as if to clear his thoughts. Then he shushes me as he pulls me into his chest, holding me as I break apart.

“You’ve done nothing wrong, baby. Do you hear me? Not a damn thing.”

Oh, Rian.

His arms tighten around me and he brings his lips to mine. I want to get lost in him, let him sweep me off my feet and forget everything, but I can’t. Even though I’m raw and just confessed my deepest, darkest secret to him, I have to be strong.

I pull out of the kiss and look at the bottle still clutched between my fingers.

The drama and stress aren’t over yet. Not that I don’t trust Rian. It’s too simple. Nothing is this easy.

My mother showing up has sobered me, and now I’m thinking clearly.

I shake the bottle, making the single pill rattle in its cage. “I need to talk to T,” I declare as I move to my feet and extract my cell from my jacket pocket.

“T? Why?”

Isn’t it obvious? Tiernan McGowan is the biggest science nerd in Grove Hill. He manufactures illicit drugs daily. If anyone can tell me what’s in this capsule and why Carmen wanted me to take it so badly, it’s him.

“I need his geek brain,” I say before typing in his name and clicking the call button.

“Uh, someone better be dying, Sor,” Tiernan grumbles on the other end of the phone. I probably woke him up, but this can’t wait. My gut is screaming at me, and if it’s right, Carmen will be in the wind soon and time is of the essence.

“I need your help, T. I know it's late, but it's really important.”

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