Page 35 of Careless

A sharp pain stabs at my heart and I rub it with the heel of my palm. His confession is physically painful and tears spring to my eyes. “Stop,” I demand softly. He takes a hand off the wheel to run it through his messy hair.

“I fucking hate thi—”

“I said, stop!” I yell as I turn my hard eyes on him, ignoring my lingering tears. “You knew this was how things had to be before we ever did anything.”

“Then, why have you been acting like you’re pissed at me?”

Acting? That was not acting. “Because I am, asshole!” I barely hold in a cry. The worst part about drinking is how uncontrollable my emotions get. “I heard what you said that day when you thought I was sleeping. That was the most selfish thing you could’ve possibly done, Rian.”

His expression sours as he turns his face away from me to examine the red light.

“To say something like that to me before going back to screwing half the town makes you the biggest jerkinthis town.”

I’ve had enough. I’m so hurt and angry and intoxicated that I quickly unbuckle my seat belt, throw the door open, and climb out before the light has the chance to turn.

Maybe I’m not making smart decisions and maybe getting out of the car in the middle of the night is one of them, but I don’t give a damn. If I stayed in that car one more agonizing moment, I was going to slap the shit out of him.

“Sorcha!” Rian yells my name, but all I can do is let out a frustrated groan as my hands ball into fists.

You can’t say you love someone if you’re screwing other people.

You did the same thing. You screwed Jason two years ago.

That was different. I didn’t think I ever had a chance of having a relationship with Rian. Besides, he hurt me. He’s always hurting me and I’m tired of hurting.

Suddenly, a strong hand wraps around my wrist, snapping me around to face him.

“Stop running away from me, goddamn it!” He growls, the anger clear in his eyes. His chest is heaving with pent up fury and unsaid words.

I yank my hand but his fingers just tighten. “I should’ve run away from you years ago!” I scream in his face, my breathing quickening to match the staccato of my heart. His nostrils flare from the idea I just spat out into the night. But then his free hand delves into my hair and he clutches a large chunk of it at the roots, pulling me into his hard body. His eyes dart between mine for a few moments as if he’s trying to read my soul. He won’t find anything in there because he has it. Finding the answer to whatever question he was looking to answer, he crashes his lips onto mine.

All the fight leaves my body as he kisses me, his lips and tongue working against mine in a way that feels like a memory.

A memory of a night when he was all mine.

My lips move on their own accord, perfectly mirroring his. The ache in my chest loosening bit by bit until an explosion of euphoria replaces it.

Rian. Oh, Rian.

Wait, no. We’re not supposed to be doing this. It’s everything I want, but we can’t.

Reluctantly, I pull away from him and frown. “You can’t do that.”

He only lets me take one step away until he pulls me back against him, holding me like I belong to him. “I don’t know what you think has been happening, but I haven’t fucked anyone since I laid you down in my bed,” he confesses, rocking my world to its core.

“What?” He hasn’t been with anyone? But, what about the parties at the house and the girls hanging on him at school?

“You said to make it look like nothing happened between us. That’sallI’ve been doing. I can’t touch anyone else now that I know what you taste like, how it feels to have your cunt wrapped around my fingers. I only want you, baby.”

My entire body purrs at his words, and I want to fall into him. I want to ignore our reality and create our own, but I can’t.

“Rian, we can’t,” I whimper as his hands smooth down my neck. “If Finn—”

“Fuck Finn. I’m sick of us torturing ourselves just because hemightbe mad. How is that fair, baby? He gets to be with the Gray girl, and I can’t even touch you.”

If we didn’t live in this town, it would be a much different story, but this is where we live. I hate this as much as he does, but I have a responsibility as Finn’s sister to protect him from himself and keep Rian alive.

He swivels his head, indicating the emptiness of the road. “There is no one around and your brother is working,” he says as he shoves his hands into his pockets. As if on cue, a black truck speeds past us, heading in the direction of where we came from.

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