Page 29 of Careless

I almost lost my brother years ago in the car accident that took his mom. Finn loved his mom fiercely, and he hasn’t been the same since she died. He used to be a happy kid, even if occasionally solemn. That day my brother became a new person, one that was quick to temper and slow to delight. Sure, over time he got a little better, but it’s always barely hidden beneath the surface, laying in wait, like a cobra ready to strike at any perceived misgiving, ready to destroy lives. I thought maybe him taking Dad’s place in the Bastards would help, but it hasn’t.

This explains why Finn is so protective of me. The only other woman who has ever been important to him disappeared from his life in the literal blink of an eye. The guys always say I’m the only person my brother is capable of loving, but I don’t believe that. I just don’t think he has anyone else to give his love to.

Until Francine, that is. I see the way he looks at Francine. Maybe if he would get off his ass and pursue her like a normal person, things may finally start working out for him. That’s what I’ll keep telling myself.

If that happens, at least one of the O’Reilly children can end up with the one they want.

CHAPTERTWELVE

HER

Anguish colors my world and yet I have to keep smiling as if I’m viewing everything through rose tinted glasses. Pain is everywhere and I act like nothing's wrong, like I don’t see everything Rian does to pretend we never happened, to pretend that he doesn’t love me.

I see the girls, the drugs, the alcohol. I see it all and it breaks my heart as the days turn into weeks.

And the dreams I once had turn into nightmares.

CHAPTERTHIRTEEN

HER

Iwas right about Francine. Kia had to eat her disbelief when it was made known to everyone that my brother was sneaking around with her. I can’t be certain, but I think she was cheating on Duncan with my brother. Finn publicly denies it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean much. I know he doesn’t care about his reputation so the only reason he would do it would be to save Francine’s.

When I saw Francine and my brother walking to the principal’s office together, it gave me hope that maybe she’ll be the one able to calm him down.

I feel bad that I might’ve been a bit aggressive pushing her toward him, but I saw it in her eyes. She was barely holding back. She just needed the right push, and I hope I gave it to her.

I want my brother to have that light in his life, and I’m sure the bubbly, sweet girl Francine is will give him that.

If I’m honest with myself, there’s also a sense of envy mixed in.

Finn has his lady, although the longevity of the relationship is fragile, but I still have to watch Rian pretending that he didn’t completely change my life. I pretend I’m not bothered by him going back to the way things were before he pinned me to the wall in his room, and called me his.

* * *

“What are you doing, kid?”Rian groans as I dig around the fridge, grabbing a twelve-pack of beer, before standing. I didn’t miss the way he ogled my ass when he thought no one was looking. But, when Tiernan steps into the kitchen, he has to look away.

“I’m stealing your beer. You guys drink too much, anyway.”

“Where are you taking it? Got a boyfriend you’re going to party with, Sor?” Tiernan asks as Eoghan and Colin stroll in. It’s as if their spidey senses picked up on the phraseI’m stealing your beerand they came running.

I notice how Rian stiffens at the mention of a possible boyfriend, but I don’t bring attention to it.

I roll my eyes at how idiotic these boys can be. “No, I’m going to Francine’s house.”

“You’re hanging out with Harley?” Colin asks at the same time Eoghan adds on, “We’re coming!”

Harley? Who is Harley?I scowl at Eoghan as I put my hands on my hips, ready for an argument. “No, you’re not. It’s a girl’s night, and last I checked, all of you dickshavedicks.”

“Dicks? You’ve never seen inside my pants, Sor. It’s a fucking tentacle,” Colin quips with a lopsided grin. “Please let us come!”

“No, I’m going to have a good night with my friends with no chaperones, and for once, I’m going to get drunk off my ass with no guys hovering over me, so shoo. I need to get in my car and head over there before Nyla starts the party without me.”

Eoghan’s ears perk up at that. “Nyla’s there? Awesome.” He snatches the beers from my hands and sprints out the door as Colin slumps his shoulders. That doesn’t stop Tiernan from dragging him after Eoghan. Before exiting, Tiernan sends a look to Rian and a private conversation passes between them. Before I can ask Tiernan about it, he’s gone, and I’m left alone with the man I know I shouldn’t be.

I grab onto the closest thing next to me, the counter I think, asithappens again. Shadows blanket my vision almost like the transparency sheets used on the old projectors at school—the ones teachers wrote on with dry erase markers. It was a projection of a picture, the lines were always fuzzy and no matter how hard you tried, it was always a wee bit out of focus. I’ve grown used to these shadows. They come and go, but they always look like hieroglyphics when they appear. I used to write them down, but trying to decipher the code was a mind-numbing task that would make the world’s greatest scholar lose their mind. Luckily, I gave up years ago. Now, I just rub my eyes and they disappear, much like the shadows in the corners of the room when I look at them head on. Maybe I’m a little crazy, but isn’t everyone? Doesn’t every person have that one thing they hide from the world, that one thing that if they told anyone, they’d think they need to be locked up? Well, everyone in my family does, anyway. It’s what’s considered normal for an O’Reilly. At least I don’t kill people.

My vision clears and Rian stares at me expectantly like I didn’t just completely zone out.

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