Page 110 of Trusting Easton

“It took you a year to decide you wanted me?” I ask.

“No. Your father and I talked about it and decided not to wait. But it took nearly a year for us to get through the adoption process.”

I’m trying to take all this in, but it’s too much. My parents wanted Nova instead of me? She could’ve had a family all those years. I could’ve been the one without a home. But my dad didn’t want her. He didn’t want a kid that might be broken. He refused to give her a home, even though my mom was already attached to her.

It’s all starting to make sense. The reason my parents didn’t want Nova in my life was because of my mom. It wasn’t about me. It was about her.

“Tell them the rest,” my dad says to my mom.

“There’s more?” I say, not sure I’m ready for more.

“Stephen, no,” my mom says, crying again. “I can’t.”

“You didn’t do it intentionally,” my dad says. “You didn’t know.”

“Know what?” Nova looks back and forth between my parents. “What did you do?”

We wait for my mom to answer. She doesn’t. She’s looking at my dad like she’s begging him not to tell us.

He stares back at her. “She found Ted Morris. She thought if Nova couldn’t be with us, she should be with her family. The only relative she could track down was Ted, her grandfather.”

“You’re the reason she was with Ted?” I say to my mom, not wanting to believe it’s true.

She nods, tears pouring from her eyes. “I thought I was helping her. I thought I was giving her a family. He was her grandfather. I thought he’d love her and spoil her, like any grandparent would. I didn’t know he’d be like he was to her. If I’d known, I never would’ve told him about her.”

“You talked to Ted?” Nova asks.

“I sent him a letter.” My mom dabs her eyes with her napkin. “I told him where you were and who to contact. I told him you were a sweet, beautiful little girl who needed to be with her family.”

“Wait.” I pause a moment, then look over at my mom. “Are you saying you knew she was here? You knew she was in Milwaukee?”

My mom looks at my dad to answer.

I turn to him. “Did you or not?”

He nods. “We knew.”

“This whole time? My entire childhood, you knew she was here?”

He nods.

I shove up from my chair. “How the fuck could you do that to me? You knew how desperate I was to see her again! You knew I was trying to find her! And that whole time, you knew she was here?”

“Easton, it’s okay,” Nova says in almost a whisper.

“It’s NOT okay!” I turn to her. “We both went through hell when they separated us, and it never had to happen! You’ve been here the whole time!”

“Your mother couldn’t handle seeing her,” my dad says. “It would’ve been too difficult on her. Those first couple years we had you, she still considered Nova the daughter she lost. She blamed me. It was difficult on our marriage. I couldn’t have Nova coming back in our lives and making your mother feel even worse.”

“Mom’s an adult!” I yell. “She had friends, family, to help her get through it. I was a child! An orphan. You took my best friend! The only thing in my life that mattered!” I turn back to my mom. “I get that you got attached to her, but you didn’t know her like I did. You didn’t spend every waking moment with her. You weren’t there for her when she was sad and scared. You didn’t take care of her. I did—and she took care of me. We were all each other had, and you took her away from me!”

“Easton, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” my mom says, racing over to me. “It was a difficult time for all of us. Things started to get better when I had Jenna, and I considered telling you about Nova, but your father didn’t think we should. You were doing so well, making friends at your school, playing hockey. We thought seeing Nova might bring back memories that would hinder all the progress you’d made.”

“You didn’t care about me. This was all aboutyou. About what you and Dad wanted. It’s always been about that. You care more about yourselves than about me.” I look at both of them with disgust. “I can’t be around you right now, either one of you.” I storm out of the room.

“Easton, wait!” Nova follows me to the living room.

“Grab your coat. We’re leaving.”

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