Page 83 of Searching for Nova

“I’ll only be a little over an hour away. It’s not that far. We could make it work.”

“It wouldn’t work. You’ll be a big hockey star. Girls will be all over you. Rich, smart, pretty girls who fit in your life.”

“What does that mean? I know you’re not rich, but you’re smart, and you’re more than pretty. You’re beautiful. And youdofit in my life. You fit better than anyone else does.”

I turn and look at him. “What are you talking about? Look where I live. Where I go to school. My life is the complete opposite of yours.”

“The life you’re talking about—the big house, private school, the money—it doesn’t feel real. I feel like I don’t fit there. Like I don’t belong. I’ve always felt that way, but I tried to just ignore it and be grateful that I have all that. And I am, but I still feel like I don’t belong. Seeing you again, spending time with you, I finally feel normal again. Like the real me. So when you say you don’t fit in my life, I’m telling you, Nova, you’re theonlything that fits. And I don’t want to ever want lose you again.”

I want to trust him. I want to believe him. I know he didn’t just make all that up. I heard the pain in his voice when he said it. And I know what he means. My life hasn’t changed much from when we were kids, at least not like his has, but I don’t feel like I fit here either. I always feel out of place and like people don’t understand me. But I don’t feel like that when I’m with Easton.

“I’ve already agreed to be your friend,” I say. “That should be enough.”

“If that’s all we are, then we shouldn’t be doing what we’ve been doing all week. Or now, being in your room, on your bed.”

“Why are you being like this? Lots of people our age have this kind of friendship. Why can’t we?”

“Because it’s not who I am. If I’m with someone like that, I want to actually be with them, as in dating them. I get that the girlfriend label might be too much for you right now, but I at least want to say that we’re dating. I don’t want to be the friend that you fool around with.”

“I need to think about it. When you showed up at the diner, I didn’t even want us being friends, so dating you would be a huge step.”

“You realize that we’ve kind of been dating since Sunday.”

“We went out. We weren’t dating.”

“Call it what you want, but it seemed like dating to me.”

“I still need time to think about it.”

“Just think of all the benefits. More of this.” He kisses my lips. “And this.” He kisses my neck. “And this.” He flicks his tongue over my nipple as his hand slides down my stomach to between my legs. He strokes me, then dips a finger inside me.

I suck in a breath and close my eyes. “I thought you weren’t going to do that anymore.” I suck in another breath as I feel his mouth replace his hand. “If we weren’t dating.”

“I have to finish what I started.”

He does, and I’m left feeling so damn good that I almost tell him I’ll do it. That I’ll do whatever he wants as long as he doesn’t stop doing what he just did.

“Shit, it’s almost ten,” he says, checking his phone. “I’m supposed to be home in ten minutes. I’m not gonna make it.”

“Are your parents really that strict? You can’t be a few minutes late?”

“I can, but then I have to sit through one of their lectures. It’s better to just be on time.”

We get up and get dressed.

“At least we got almost an hour together,” I say.

Easton comes up to me as I’m putting my shirt on. “It’s not enough. I want to stay here with you.”

“But you can’t.”

“Maybe tomorrow. Are you doing anything?”

“No. Why?”

“Jace and I are going to a party tomorrow night. I already told my parents I was going to Jace’s house after the party and staying over. He has a huge basement with a couch that’s big enough to sleep on. I’ll tell Jace to cover for me and stay here instead.”

“You’d really do that?” I say, a smile creeping up my cheeks. “Are you sure that’s appropriate if we’re just friends?”

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