Page 67 of Searching for Nova

“Not really.”

“Why don’t we just start driving and see where we end up?”

“Okay,” she says, giving me another smile.

I love seeing that smile, and I want to keep seeing it, which is why I’m not taking her home yet. Whatever happened when she went up to her apartment made her cry, which is something Nova almost never does, or she didn’t when I knew her before. I’m guessing that hasn’t changed.

Nova doesn’t like people seeing her pain. She hides it better than anyone I know. So something really bad must’ve happened to make her cry. I’m guessing it has to do with Ted. The guy’s an ass, making her cook for him and clean up after him. And I’m sure he’s using the money he gets for her care for his own personal use instead of using it to buy what she needs. Her clothes are faded and stained and her shoes are ripped from being too small. I’d offer to buy her stuff, but she wouldn’t accept it. She already yelled at me for trying to buy Ted’s dinner, saying I was treating her like a charity case. That’s not what I was doing, but I understand why she thinks that way. We used to be equals, but now she sees me as one of them, the rich people who look down on the poor. That’s not who I am. I have money, but I’m not looking down on her. I just want to help her.

“Get off at the next exit,” Nova says as I drive down the freeway.

“Why? Where are we going?”

“Take a right when you get off the exit.”

As I pull off the freeway, I see a sign for the sculpture garden. “I think it’s closed,” I say as I drive down the road.

“It doesn’t matter. We can still walk around.”

I’m not sure that we can. The place has security cameras. If someone sees us there, we might get kicked out. But I go there anyway, for Nova. I’ll do most anything to make her feel better.

As I pull in the parking lot, I don’t see any signs saying we can’t be here. It’s just an open field with sculptures, but I notice security cameras attached to the light poles.

“Let’s walk around,” Nova says, getting out of the Jeep.

“Why’d you want to come here?” I ask as she stops next to a giant metal giraffe.

“Because I’ve never been.” She looks up at the giraffe. “How do you think they made this?”

“I don’t know. I could look it up online.” I get out my phone,

“No, let’s keep going.” She runs over to a heart sculpture that has a large M in front of it. “What do you think this is supposed to mean?”

“Love for Milwaukee?”

She scrunches up her nose, which is adorable. “You’re probably right. That’s lame. I was hoping it was more interesting than that.” She walks over to another sculpture, a metal circle that sits just above the ground. “I like this one.”

“Why?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I just like it.” She sits down on the concrete bench in front of it, gazing down at the metal circle.

I sit beside her and notice her shivering. “Why don’t we go somewhere else? It’s cold out here.”

She shakes her head. “I’m not ready to leave.” She wraps her arms around herself, trying to stay warm.

“Come here.” I turn to her and straddle the bench.

“What are you doing?” she asks as I pull her into my arms.

“Keeping you warm. Remember when we used to do this?”

A slight smile appears on her face as she rests her back against my chest. I wrap my arms around her and feel her body relax. She fits perfectly in my arms. There’s something about this that feels so right, more right than anything has felt since the day I left her.

I love my family, and I have a great life, but I’ve always had this feeling that something was off. My new life has never really felt real. I’m not sure what I mean by that. I’ve been trying to figure it out. But being here with Nova, holding her like this, I finally feel like things are right again.

“It feels different than when we were kids,” Nova says.

“How so?”

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