Page 61 of Searching for Nova

I glance at Easton. I don’t want him waiting here with Ted. Ted will either be rude to him or tell him something I don’t want Easton to know.

“C’mon,” I say to Easton. “My room’s back here.”

Easton looks at me like he’s surprised I invited him to my room in front of Ted. He doesn’t know Ted. He’s not like other grandpas. He doesn’t care if I take a guy to my room. He knows I have sex. He just doesn’t want a guy spending the night. He says he doesn’t want to hear us going at it when he’s trying to sleep. During the day, he can just turn the TV up.

“You just gonna stand there all day?” Ted says to Easton. “You’re blocking the TV!”

“Sorry.” Easton walks over to me and I lead him down the short hallway to my room.

“It’s a mess,” I say, picking a shirt off the floor and tossing it in the closet. “I didn’t have time to clean last weekend.”

Easton looks around the tiny room. It’s only big enough for a twin bed and a dresser. There’s a small lamp by my bed, but I keep it on the floor because I don’t have a nightstand.

“You can just sit over there.” I point to the bed as I go to the closet to grab some clothes. “I’ll take a quick shower and be right back.”

“I can’t believe your grandpa’s okay with me being in your room. Is it because you told him we’re only friends?”

“He doesn’t believe we’re just friends.” I laugh as I grab my towel from the hook behind the door. “He thinks we’re having sex right now. That’s why he turned the TV up.”

Easton looks surprised and a little confused. I smile at him as I leave, laughing as I go in the bathroom. I’m so used to Ted and how we interact that I don’t think about it being out of the ordinary. But Easton has actual parents who love him and care what he does, so to him, my arrangement with Ted probably seems a little crazy. But it’s not that unusual. Most of the kids at my school raise themselves. Their parents are either alcoholics or drug addicts, or they’re never home because they work three jobs to pay the bills. They’re not parents who keep track of their kids and know what they’re doing. Even Mateo’s parents—who are the best parents I know—aren’t that involved in his life. We have sex in his room and they don’t even know, or they do and don’t care.

After I shower, I put on the clothes I brought in the bathroom with me. I didn’t really look to see if it matched. It doesn’t. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a black knit dress. I thought the dress was a shirt. It’s short, so it looked like a shirt when I grabbed it. I leave the jeans on, and the bra, then wrap the towel around my chest.

“I got a dress instead of a shirt,” I say to Easton as I go back in my room. I toss the dress on the floor.

“You should wear it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress.”

“Yeah, you did. I wore that red one at Christmas. The one with snowflakes all over it. Liz got it from some lady at church.”

“That’s right.” He smiles. “You hated it. You begged her to let you put jeans on off after we had dinner.” He gets the dress from the floor and brings it to me. “Put it on. I want to see it on you.”

“Why?”

“I just do. I’ll go wait in the hall.”

“You don’t have to leave.” I take the dress and let the towel I had around me drop to the floor.

I’m still in jeans and a bra, but Easton’s looking at me like I just stripped down to nothing.

“What’s wrong?” I say, bunching up the dress so I can put it over my head. “You’ve never seen a girl in a bra before?”

“Well, yeah, but I’m usually dating her.”

“I’m not naked,” I point out. “And we’re friends. I don’t care if my friends see me in a bra.”

It’s true, but not for my guy friends. Mateo’s the exception, but we’re friends who have sex. That’s different.

Easton is just a friend, but I still let him see me in a bra. I’m acting like it’s no big deal, but it is, because it could lead to something we said we wouldn’t do. From the moment we saw each other at the diner, I could feel the attraction between us. It’s like a burning flame we keep trying to put out, but it just keeps getting stronger.

Being alone together in this tiny room probably wasn’t the best idea. I thought it would prove I could be with him without wanting to actuallybewith him, and it was working until I came back to my room without a shirt.

When I let the towel drop, my heart was beating like crazy, waiting to see what Easton would do. He didn’t do anything except let his eyes wander down to my chest. I’m not sure what I was expecting. I keep telling myself I’m not getting involved with him, so what am I doing?

17

Nova

My dress is on now,and I reach under it to take off my jeans. Easton watches as I slide them down my legs, then catches me when I nearly fall over trying to yank them off. They’re tight at the ankle and always get stuck on my foot.

---