Page 51 of Searching for Nova

“I play hockey. Didn’t I tell you that?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“That’s weird. Hockey’s kind of my entire life. I can’t believe I didn’t mention it.”

He’s staring at me and I’m staring at him. I’m trying to be cool and pretend to not care that he’s here, but inside I’m a jumbled up mess of emotions and thoughts.

I don’t want him here, but I do.

I didn’t miss him, but I did.

I don’t think he’s hot. No, scratch that, he’s really hot.

I don’t want to kiss him. No, I actually do.

My mind is such a mess I can’t even think of something to say. Is this some sick joke from the universe, bringing us together like this when I specifically said I didn’t want to see him again?

“So you work here?” Easton asks, noticing the cleaning cart behind me.

“Yeah. I clean, and do other stuff.”

“You work hereandthe diner? Isn’t that a lot? You still have school, right?”

I’m offended he thinks I might’ve dropped out, but then again, Ihaveconsidered it.

“I’m still in school. They’re cutting my hours at the diner so I needed a new job. I just started here today.”

He’s giving me a look like the one he gave me the night he saw me at the diner, like he can’t believe it’s me, and can’t believe we somehow ended up at the same place again. I have to admit it is a little freaky. I mean, what are the odds? He doesn’t even live around here.

“Do you come here every Sunday?” I ask him.

“No. This is the first time I’ve been here. I usually go to the rink by my house. That’s where my other coach is. We meet there a couple times a week.”

“You have two coaches? You must really be into hockey.”

“I already got a scholarship, so yeah. It’s kind of all I do outside of school, other than hanging out with my friends. But they play hockey too so we spend a lot of time at the rink.”

“You got a scholarship?” I say, feeling proud of him, but also a little jealous. I don’t know why I’m jealous. I never even considered going to college. I don’t have the grades to get in, or the money to pay for it.

“University of Wisconsin,” he says. “In Madison. I was hoping to go farther from home, but they gave me a full ride and they’re one of the best hockey schools in the country, so I couldn’t really turn it down.”

He’ll be in Madison next year. That’s a little over an hour away. That’s not that far. We could still see each other if we became friends again. But I’m sure he’ll have a girlfriend, along with classes and hockey and parties to go to. I’d never see him.

Why am I even considering this? I’ve already decided we can’t be friends and I’m not changing my mind.

“You should probably get out there,” I say. “Isn’t your lesson at two?”

“Yeah, but Gordy had to take a call. He said to give him ten minutes.”

Damn. I don’t have anything else to say. I was hoping he’d leave so I could breathe again and go back to work. Why do I feel so out of breath whenever he’s around? This doesn’t happen with other people.

“Could we talk later?” he asks.

“I can’t. I work until six and then I have stuff to do at home.”

“Nova, why are you doing this? Why have you been avoiding me?” I hear the pain in his voice and hate that I hurt him. But I had to make him go away. We can’t be friends. But now he’s here and I don’t know what to do. Ted won’t let me quit this job, not with my hours being cut at the diner, which means I’ll be seeing Easton every Sunday.

“I’ve been busy,” I say, looking away.

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