Page 86 of Searching for Nova

“No.”

“Exactly. He didn’t take you out because you weren’t dating. He’s been seeing this other girl for what, a week? And he’s already taken her out like two or three times. That’s the difference between a boyfriend and a hookup.”

“Mateo wasn’t a hookup. We were friends.”

“Who hooked up. So what’s the deal with this new guy? Is he just looking to hook up?”

“No. We haven’t done it yet. And he won’t unless we’re dating. He wants to get more serious and I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you like him?”

“Yeah. I like him a lot.”

“Then what’s the problem? You finally found a decent guy who isn’t just using you for sex and you’re not sure if you want to date him? That doesn’t make sense.”

“He’s leaving for college next year.”

“Yeah? It’s November. College is almost a year away.”

“Why would I date someone who’s leaving?”

“Where’s he going?”

“Madison.”

“That’s nothing. You could be there in less than two hours. Or you could move there. Didn’t you say Ted’s kicking you out after graduation?”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t planning to move. I don’t even have a car.”

“Why are you worrying about next year? Think about now. Do you want to be with this guy or not? I don’t mean sex. I mean do you want to date him, be his girlfriend?”

“If I knew he wasn’t leaving, then yeah, maybe.”

“Forget about him leaving. Maybe he’ll stay. Anything could happen. Look what happened to me. I didn’t think I’d be spending my senior year pregnant.”

“He has a hockey scholarship. He’s not going to give that up.”

“He could get injured, lose the scholarship. You don’t know what will happen. Stop worrying about what might happen and just be happy right now.”

“And get hurt later? Why would I put myself through that?”

“If you tell this guy to get lost, you’ll end up with another guy like Mateo. You’ll still get hurt, only it’ll be by a guy who never cared about you. If this new guy treats you well, and cares about you, why would you say no to that?”

Because Easton isn’t like all those guys I hooked up with. I didn’t care about them. I didn’t love them. I love Easton, and if I date him and fall for him even more, the pain of him leaving will be even worse than when we were kids. I don’t know if I can go through that again.

“Nova? You still there?”

“Yeah, thanks for the talk. It helped.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure yet. I think I know, but I need more time.”

I really don’t. I know what I want. I just don’t know if I’ll let myself have it. I’m not used to getting what I want, or being happy. This is all new for me. And scary.

22

Easton

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