Page 30 of Searching for Nova

How could he stand being with her for that long? I could barely stand her for the few minutes I was around her at the diner.

“I don’t see it lasting much longer,” Easton says, playing with the wrapper from his straw. He smooths it out, then crinkles it up, then does it all over again.

“You’re breaking up with her?”

“Probably. I just don’t know when.”

“Why would you wait?”

“Because I don’t want to deal with her after it happens. She doesn’t take rejection well.”

“If you’re going to do it, you might as well get it over with. Waiting won’t make it any easier.”

“Yeah, I guess.” He drops the wrapper and turns to me. “What about you and that guy?”

“Who? Mateo?”

“Yeah. What’s the story with you and him? You said you’re just friends, but you spent the night there?”

“I just needed a place to crash. Mateo and I have been friends for a few years. His family’s really nice, especially his mom.”

To be honest, Mateo’s family is the main reason I still hang out with him. Now that our friendship has become nothing more than having sex and hanging out in his room while he plays video games, I don’t really want to go over there. But I like his family. Even when they’re all doing their own thing, just being in a house with an actual family lets me imagine what it would be like if I had that too. Sometimes I even pretend I live there and that they’re my real family. I like that feeling, which is why I put up with Mateo. It’s sad, and a little pathetic, which is why I’d never tell anyone that’s why I’m still hanging out with a guy who’s just using me for sex.

“So you don’t have a boyfriend?” Easton asks, almost like he’s interested in me that way. But I know he’s not. Why would he be? He could have any girl he wants, a girl with money and a good family, like him.

“Not right now,” I say.

Easton turns more so he’s facing me. “What else can you tell me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I haven’t seen you in over ten years. I want to know everything.”

“We don’t have time for everything. Why don’t you tell me about you?”

“All we’ve done is talk about me. I’ve told you about my family. You’ve met my friends. You know where I go to school. There isn’t much else to say. I want to know about you. What high school do you go to?”

“Larkmont,” I mutter, wishing he hadn’t asked. I should’ve lied but that’s something he could easily check to see if it’s true.

“Larkmont,” he says, like he’s trying to think if he’s heard of it. How could he not? It’s the school everyone jokes about it. Some people even call it Larkmont Juvi because so many of the students there have spent time in juvenile detention, including me. “Isn’t that a magnet school?”

“Um, yeah, kind of.”

It’s a magnet for teens who get in trouble with the law, or get pregnant, or have behavior issues. I know that’s not the type of magnet school Easton’s referring to, but I don’t feel like explaining it to him.

“What ever happened to—” He shakes his head. “Never mind. I’ll save it for another time.”

He might as well ask me now because I’m not sure there’s going to be another time. I like spending time with him, but I don’t think we can be friends. It’ll just end with me losing him again, and I don’t think I can go through that again. I know I can’t.

9

Nova

“Go ahead,”I say. “What were you going to ask me?”

“Your dad.” Easton puts his hand over mine on the table. That simple gesture stirs up so much emotion in me I almost pull away. I don’t, but I consider it again when I notice how he’s looking at me, with the same care and concern as when we were kids. From the moment we met, I could tell he was different than other kids. He had so much compassion for people. It’s like you could feel it coming out of him, this warmth and sincerity and genuine concern. I’d never even felt that from an adult, still haven’t, but I felt it with Sean the day he arrived at the foster home. He was the new kid, scared and feeling alone. I should’ve been comforting him, and I did. I gave him a hug. But then later, he was the one comforting me. He saw me looking sad and alone and came over and hugged me. Then he gave me that look, the one he’s giving me now, that made me feel like someone actually cared.

“What ever happened to him?” Easton asks, referring to my dad. “Do you know?”