Page 16 of Searching for Nova

I stare up at the ceiling, trying to convince myself I like this, and want it, and that I should be concerned if I don’t. Mateo pushes inside me and starts moving in and out. He’s done kissing me. He only does that when we start, probably thinking he’s doing it for me, to warm me up, get me ready.

“Fuck yeah,” he mutters as he shoves in and out of me. He’s been in me for probably a minute and already on the verge of coming.

I’m still staring at the ceiling, just waiting for it to be over. At least I’ll get dinner out of this. I love his mom’s tamales. I love everything she makes. She’s a really good cook.

“Fuck,” Mateo groans, collapsing on top of me.

“Get off,” I tell him. “You’re too heavy.”

“Sorry,” he mutters, pulling out of me and getting up. He wraps the condom in a tissue and tosses it in the wastebasket. He zips up his jeans, returns to the bed, and turns on the TV. He grabs his game controller and starts playing a game where zombies shoot each other.

I pull my jeans up, then sit beside him on the bed and look through my phone. There’s a text from a number I don’t recognize. I open it and read it.

Hey, Nova, it’s Easton. It was good seeing you today. I’d really like to see you again. You have my number now so just send me a text if you want to meet up. Or you can give me a call.

“Who is it?” Mateo asks as his thumbs move over the controller.

I look at him. “What are you talking about?”

Mateo glances at me. “Your face. You look like someone just texted you from the grave.”

“It’s just someone from my past. I ran into him the other day at the diner.”

“Him? So this is a guy?” he asks, keeping his eyes on the game. “An ex-boyfriend?”

“No.” I laugh. “We were little kids the last time I saw him.”

“Are you guys going to meet up?”

“Probably not. He has a different life now. He goes to Fairmont. Has all these rich friends.”

“Fairmont. The prep school?”

“Yeah, the one by all the mansions. Last year, when I was doing that big sister thing, I had to go out there for some stupid event and couldn’t believe how big the houses were. Like, seriously, why does someone need a house that big?”

“How’d you get there? Did that lady take you?”

“Yeah. Rachel, my big sister. She lived out there.”

“Why’d you quit doing that? The lady had money. She was always buying you shit.”

“She talked to me like I was two. And she bought me frilly dresses I’d never wear.”

My counselor at school talked me into doing the big sister program so I’d have a female role model in my life. Rachel was okay, but I wouldn’t call her a role model. She was 29 and still lived with her parents in their massive house. She said she was saving money to start her own business, but she hadn’t even decided what the business would be. It seemed like all she did all day was shop and go out with her friends. I got annoyed hearing her tell me how working hard will help me achieve my goals when she hadn’t worked a day in her life. So I quit the program and that was the last I saw of Rachel.

“Big hockey school,” Mateo says.

“What?” I look at him. He’s still staring at the TV.

“Fairmont Prep. It’s a big hockey school. One of the best in the state.”

“Um, okay,” I say, not sure why he thinks I’d care. I don’t follow sports. Ted always has sports on the TV, but half the time he falls asleep in his chair and isn’t even watching.

“Dinner!” Daniel yells as he pounds on Mateo’s door. Daniel is his younger brother. He’s 12. His other brothers, the ones playing outside, are eight and six.

“Coming!” Mateo yells back. He glances at me. “You can go ahead. I need to finish this game.”

“I’ll just wait.” I look at my phone, trying to decide if I should text Easton back. It feels strange calling him Easton. Why would his new parents insist on calling him by his middle name? What was wrong with Sean?

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