Page 68 of Gilded Crown

When Jari got up in the morning, Aurelius had just awoken and was sitting up on his bedroll as he rubbed his eye.

He wasn’t going to push the Prince into anything or even ask for affection. The last thing he wanted was to make Aurelius feel pressured and like he had to do something. Jari still had the urge to hug him, kiss, and chase away everything, but he couldn’t, so he kept himself in his bedroll.

One button on Aurelius’s loose sleep shirt had come undone, showing another underneath.

“Are you still cold?”

A faint hint of derision crossed Aurelius’s face. Some things would never change. “I think it’s obvious I’m not, and I never complain about being cold.”

“So…”

“Why else would I wear two sets of clothes for the most part?”

Jari tilted his head. “You always wear two shirts and trousers? I don’t get it.”

“My clothes from when I was fifteen were still at home, and I kept them after I returned. I had new stuff made, but I wear my old trousers underneath, and they’re tighter and shorter, so they don’t show. Sometimes I wear two shirts.” Aurelius looked away. “It’s not you specifically. I just wear them because…it would slow someone down if they-”

Jari’s throat tightened again. It wouldn’t completely stop anyone with certain intentions. At most, it might delay them, and someone might come, or Aurelius could possibly fight them off himself. Even years later, he was still trying to defend himself not just with mental layers but physical ones too.

Jari didn’t know what it was like to feel so unsafe in his body. “You know no one’s ever fucking touching you as long as I’m around, right?”

“Yes, but I still need this. I’m sorry.” Aurelius still wouldn’t look at him. “It seemed easier to finally tell you on Dust last night. Worry about other stuff, not my past shit.”

Jari stood from his bedroll. “Aurelius, would you look at me? Please?”

The Prince finally dragged his gaze to Jari.

“The actions done to you don’t reflect on you. They reflect on others. I know you probably don’t believe me, but you’re not disgusting, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. If you feel like you need something because it makes you feel safer, and it doesn’t harm anyone else, then do it. If you want someone to talkto or just to sit with and be quiet, you can always do that with me.”

Jari felt like he should say something more, but every word would be so inadequate because he couldn’t fix things or prevent what had already happened. He felt like an oaf even though he was trying to say that his hand would always be out if the Prince wanted it. It was all he had.

Aurelius looked down at his bedroll. “Thanks.”

Chapter Fifteen

Aurelius was off that day. No one seemed to notice, but Jari had been around him enough to know. When that muscle in his cheek kept twitching, he was holding shit back in his head. He likely still thought that Jari secretly viewed him as disgusting and fucked up, and over time, he’d start distancing himself despite his words this morning.

Jari treated him like always. He was still Aurelius and still a serpent in some ways, although his demeanor and attitude made more sense than before. Lashing out and acting untouchable was safer when too many had hurt him beyond belief, and nobody could be trusted even if he wanted to.

Why expect anything different from Jari in the long run? He’d already hurt the Prince, and since words meant shit, all Jari could do in the meantime was simply be there for him.

***

When they arrived at the village of Plotheen, which wasn’t too far from Morning Glory, it appeared entirely abandoned. A group of soldiers marched in to check and make sure an ambush wasn’t waiting to happen.

“Like you said, Jari, I’m sure someone saw us,” Este said as they waited for the scouts to finish. “In flatter areas, we stick out like a sore thumb. Zylem’s probably decided to evacuate them.”

“Not out of care,” said Aurelius. “He’s probably struck fear into their hearts and made them think I’m coming to burn everything to the ground. I wouldn’t be surprised if he pressed people into fighting.”

Este made a face. Pressing civilians into fights could boost numbers, but it usually led to resentment. Pressed people withlittle fighting experience often became fodder, and in most cases, it showed the ruler had little care for his citizens. A man was far more willing to fight when he signed up for it on his own.

When they made camp, Aurelius warned the men to stay out of the homes and businesses. The civilians didn’t deserve to return and find hidden valuables had been stolen or their homes trashed. The men were only permitted to get water from the wells, and the horses of higher-ups could be kept in stables if there was room.

***

Jari grew tired of watching a couple of young soldiers bet outrageous, imaginary things while they played cards. Tomorrow morning, they’d make the two-hour ride to Morning Glory and fight.

He wasn’t the only one feeling the tension. Some were able to distract themselves or didn’t seem to care while others were grim or anxious. A few who had been full of bravado at first appeared to regret signing up for the army. Signing up was harmless until shit went down.

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