Page 41 of Gilded Crown

“Why don't you just tip your head back and pour the whole bag into your nose?”

“It makes me feel better.” Aurelius poked the tube in and cinched the sack. A bit of the powdery drug puffed out the top, and he knotted it.

“You know, when I drew as a kid, people always had big black dots as eyes. That’s what you look like right now. Your pupil is all dilated.”

Aurelius batted his pale lashes at Jari and gave him his snake smile. “Everything’s a little better on Dust. There are days when I wish I could stay high.”

“Nose bleeds are such fun.”

“Excuse me for taking off the edge after my Father just died.”

Jari instantly felt like pure, fucking shit. “I didn’t forget. I just would rather have you present while we deal with shit, and I’d also rather you not have gushing nosebleeds in the future.”

Aurelius put away the little bag. “I take long breaks to ensure that doesn’t happen, and I only snort the high-quality stuff. It’s not like I just smoked a bowl full of turf. I’m tired, this helps, and I won’t fall off the horse. Keep up.”

Chapter Nine

They galloped the horses and rested them through the day, letting the distance grow behind them. The area was pretty quiet, and they came across a path that probably led to a village, but they ignored it. Aurelius said that Nacker would be a good spot, and that was farther away.

They had no choice but to sleep on the ground that night. Jari took the first watch and slept once he got Aurelius up. They were riding by dawn, and it was nearly sundown by the time they arrived at Nacker, a dirty old mining town. Mercury didn’t appear very impressed. Some adventure this was. He probably wished he’d stayed at the farm where it was cleaner.

Mining wasn’t work that Jari had ever done, and he didn’t want to. They found an inn and paid for a room. Unfortunately, they all had one bed, and that was it. The mouse he saw scurrying down the hall probably didn’t pay anything and had beds all over the inn.

Aurelius tore off the cap to hide his bright hair once they were in the dingy room, and he made a face as he looked around. Besides one bed, it contained a table with three legs, a chair, a chamber pot, and that was it. They didn’t even get a basin to wash their faces in.

“It smells like mildew.”

“It might rain tonight, so this is better than being outside, and I’ve stayed in worse,” said Jari. “Also, we can wash up. Maybe the post up your ass is getting mildewy. Yeah, go ahead and backhand me.”

Aurelius turned away, dumped his pack on the bed, and sat by it. “I’d rather not get sick on the way.”

“You’ll be fine.” Jari set his pack in a corner. “I guess since Prince Prick has the bed, it’s the floor for me.”

“I have more thinking to do. Oxs are fine on the floor.”

“Actually, I’d say there’s room, so I’ll climb in too and crowd you against the wall while I fart and snore all night.”

Aurelius’s expression of horror was priceless.

“You fart too,” declared Jari.

“No, I don’t.”

“Ah, I forgot. Royalty has no bodily functions that might be considered distasteful. My apologies, Your Majesty.”

“Go downstairs and fetch our dinner.”

“Oh, wait.” Jari smacked his forehead as he headed for the door. “With the post shoved up your Royal Ass, nothing can escape, and that’s probably why you’re all-”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Make me.” Jari caught Aurelius’s middle finger just before he closed the door, and he poked his head back in. “Anytime. Anywhere.”

Aurelius made a frustrated noise.

Fetch. Like a damn dog. Jari scowled and went downstairs to do exactly as the Prince said and fetch bowls of greasy stew and hunks of bread that were probably one hour away from being moldy.

Surprisingly, the Prince didn’t complain about the meat which might have been dog, horse, or old mookie. Whatever it was, it was stringy and tough. It wasn’t Jari’s first bowl of shitty inn stew, so he packed it all in.