Page 40 of Gilded Crown

“Yeah.”

“I’d say there's a couple of hours before dawn. We need to leave before it grows light.”

“You let me sleep that long?”

Aurelius was silent for a second. “I took Dust. I figured you needed the rest.”

For fuck’s sake. Like he didn’t? Jari was tempted to chew him out, but that wouldn’t do much good. They couldn’t get the lost time back. Also, it was something nice and unexpected of him to let Jari sleep more instead of cracking the whip and demanding that he get up a few hours earlier.

“I haven’t been in a barn for years,” whispered Aurelius. “Not since we got the horses that morning.”

“Huh?” Jari had a feeling he was getting a peek under the gate, except he had no clue what the fuck he was seeing.

“I…” Aurelius paused as if stuffing down whatever memories he’d been locked in all night while Jari slept like a baby. “Did Father really say he loved me or did you make that up?”

“I wouldn’t make that up,” said Jari. “I think he sometimes did things to try and show you like feeding you or clapping on the back. That thing kept him from doing more.”

And from saving his son when he was captured. Eurig must have wanted to, but Mammon had been pulling the strings too much at that point.

Aurelius was silent for a long moment. “I’ll go to sleep now.”

“What were you going to say before that?”

“Nothing.”

Too late. The gate was down, and Jari still didn’t know what to make of the peek. Bad shit, no doubt, and only the Dust had made that little crack appear for him to blurt something out. Maybe he meant the day he and the family left the vacation home? The day he’d been captured?

If he asked, he'd probably be ignored. Those little glimpses always tugged on Jari’s protective urge, and he had to ignore it. He couldn’t alter the past, and Aurelius wouldn’t take comfort.

Aurelius went to his spot in the hay. Jari replaced him on the edge where the floor was still warm and listened to the Prince’s breathing even out.

If he wanted to talk about shit, he could. Jari would listen because sometimes a man needs that from someone even if he won’t say it out loud. Father would have said to forget about shit like feelings and move on. He’d been back in the fields the day Mother and Timothy passed, and he’d forced Jari to come with him. While the sun blazed overhead, he’d cut hay and swung the scythe, like the fever had hidden itself among the grass and could be brought down with a mighty swing. The only way was forward.

What about when the path ahead was darkened by what lay behind? Too much had been stolen from Aurelius

Jari had to piss, so he tapped the lantern to give just a little light. The ladder was to his right. He glanced behind him atAurelius who was curled up on his cloak with his hands by his chin. It looked like he was trying to protect his chest and couldn’t even relax in his sleep.

Jari turned off the lantern and felt his way to the ladder. He was careful as he felt with his feet and made sure each was firmly planted while he moved down rung by rung. He pissed in a corner since it wasn’t like he had much choice.

When he went back up, he tapped the lantern and carefully pinched the edges of the Prince’s cloak to drape them over him. Aurelius didn’t twitch, and Jari had the urge to get behind him, pull him close, and go back to sleep.

Stupid. He was just tired and looking for a body to cuddle with. While back at his carpenter job, he hadn’t fucked anyone. One guy had asked to go home with him, but he’d been smashed. When Jari said he wasn’t fucking some guy who could barely tell up from down, the man had insisted, or more like slurred, that he wasn’t drunk and was totally ready to get pounded.

He would have face-planted on the floor if Jari hadn’t caught him in time, and he’d let the guy’s buddy help him home. Jari had returned to his shed alone.

Besides, he didn’t want to do that with Aurelius anyway. Not really. He was too much of a prick, and Jari could imagine the rage the Prince would go to if he woke up with a commoner against his back. How dare he be so bold and take such liberties?

A rock would be a better cuddler. At least it wouldn’t treat him like a faithful hound or an ox that plods along because someone says so.

***

Aurelius still looked high when they left. Jari convinced the grey courser to let himself be saddled and told him they’d have an adventure. He wouldn’t even miss the farm after a while.After some doubtful snorts and a sugar cube, he let himself be prepared.

The day before, Jari hadn’t noticed the tiny plaques over the horse’s tack on the wall where it was kept. Blossom and Old Steady had to be the more placid ones. Jari told himself he’d bring the horse back one day when this was over and make it up to the owner. Mercury didn’t even look back when they rode off into the woods.

“Do you really need that?” Jari asked later that morning when Aurelius took a small bag from his pack and stuck a metal tube into the contents.

Aurelius had been quiet all morning. Ignoring Jari, he took a good snort.

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