Page 8 of Threading Carefully

More like I worried that once I saw him our exchange wouldn't flow as easily. I’d tense up and would keep thinking about him being ahim. I mean, he was, wasn't he? What we were sharing was nice though—viewing someone for their personality and how well we clicked rather than what they looked like or had between their legs.

Yeah. I wanted to keep getting to know him this way a little longer first.

What a breath of fresh air it was. A relief not to think of how things would work in the bedroom, or if I'd be able to kiss him like I did women. It gave me the pleasure of saving those thoughts for later. And I was telling the truth about what's on the outside not being important to me. It usually wasn’t with any of the women I was with.

But he's not a woman.

A drawn-out sigh rushed from me, and his next message took longer to come.

Pieces of me: Okay. I like that idea. Do you plan on coming here a lot?

Me: Not yet, but things could change if I have a reason to keep coming back.

Shit. I didn't mean that how it came out. I was referring to if everything with the trade went well. Before I could clarify, he responded again.

Pieces of me: Maybe I could be that reason.

Dang, he really was cute. There I was, thinking something I never thought I would—another man being cute. He came off so innocent and sweet, but it didn't mean he was. We'd only started talking today and for some reason I was already looking forward to tomorrow. Before I knew it, I was messaging him something I never imagined saying back in response.

Me: Maybe.

It was like I didn't want to disappoint him. He was so upbeat in the way he came off over the app and I'd hate to be the one to steal his shine.

Pieces of me: I'd love to keep talking but I don't have money for a hotel on base and have to head back home before dark. I doubt I'd get away with crashing in the library again.

Me: I'll be around tomorrow. I don't plan on doing much. Just waiting for a delivery.

Pieces of me: Night, Franky.

He sent me a few virtual hearts and kisses.

And once again it felt weird to think of him as cute, but it didn't feel wrong. The icing on the cake was him calling me Franky. Most people I dated saw it as childish but it's what my friends knew me as. We weren't dating though.

Me: Night, Nova.

A knock at my door had me sitting up and placing my phone on the nightstand.

“Dinner’s ready. I wanted to walk around base a bit, but Henry said it'll be turning pitch black in a few hours, so hurry your ass out here.”

“I'll be out in a bit.”

A nap would've probably kept me from dozing off at the dinner table. Thinking about coming here had kept me up all night, unable to get a wink of sleep. I paid for it later. Tania and I didn't click like I hoped we would, and she talked about another humanthe whole time we were eating. Nothing about her was settling, and none of my smiles were genuine. Not like they’d been before I left my room. Not like they’d been before I stopped talking to Nova.

“You alright, man? We're all going for a walk. You gonna come?” Edgar asked while he helped Henry collect the empty dishes.

“No. I didn't sleep well yesterday so I'm gonna turn in.”

“Alright, man. See you tomorrow then. Henry said his contact should be getting back to us in two days about meeting.”

“Cool. I have what he requested.” Or so I hoped. He didn't specify what kind of video game system he wanted so I grabbed a Nintendo Switch, along with a couple of popular games.

“Great. Henry said he was going to get you as much as he could from the list you gave.” After Henry contacted the guy the first time, I did some more research and made a small list to start with: miracle water, and tree sap for burns. There was so much more I was interested in, but what I was getting would do for now.

That, and more conversations with Nova. I could talk to him online back at home, but it was nice knowing he was close by when doing it. I didn't know what talking to him would bring or if anything would come of it at all. All I knew was that for a little while I hadn’t felt so alone, and I wanted that feeling again, if only for one more day.

Four

Nova

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