I wonder what all those socialites and politicians, businessmen and lawmakers think of how quickly this thing has been pulled together. They probably think I’m knocked up, and we don’t want a pregnancy out of wedlock to look bad for either of our families. I’m sure the gossip will be out in force through the church.
“That’s what all abusive men say, Jason. No man is ever going to admit they plan to hit their partner again.” I wipe my cheeks and finally turn to face him.
He’s come straight from work, still in his fitted suit, but his tie hangs loose around his neck. “I didn’t come here to fight, Leighton.”
“I don’t know why you bothered to come at all. We’ll see each other tomorrow and every day after that.”
“Because I thought we should clear the air. I wanted to apologize for all the things I’ve put you through, and let you know things are going to change after the wedding.”
I quirk a brow up in question, waiting for him to continue.
“There will be no more other women, and I’ll never lay a hand on you again.”
A laugh falls from my lips as I sit back on the window sill.
“I’m not kidding,” he growls.
“I know you’re not, but you are lying.”
“I don’t see the distinction.”
“Kidding is a joke. Lying is a deliberate deception. There’s a very clear difference. We both know you’re going to cheat again. There’s a reason you never wanted to have sex with the lights on, and I’m willing to guess it has nothing to do with your own insecurities. You’ll just get smarter about it.” I think back to the conversation I overheard between him and my father. “You’ll probably start traveling more for work, start messing around with women in other states where it’s less likely I’ll catch on. And I’ll sit at home waiting for you. Alone.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but I shake my head slowly. I’m not done yet. This might be my last chance to say my peace, and I’m not going to waste a second of it. After tomorrow, I’ll be his obedient little wife and expected to behave myself.
“And you’ll hit me again.” I shrug like the thought doesn’t have ice-cold dread sinking into my bones. “Maybe you’ll keep your word for a while, but one day I’ll forget to pick up your dry cleaning, or I’ll speak to one of your colleagues at a function for too long, or I’ll do something else you don’t like, and we’ll find ourselves in the exact same position we did before I left.”
Jason looks shell-shocked. Probably because I don’t ever call him, or anyone else, out on their bullshit. But it feels good. It feels really freaking good.
In the back of my mind, I see Wyatt, a proud smile playing on his lips as I stand up for myself, and the tears threaten to fall again, but they can wait until Jason leaves.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jason sighs and turns his back on me, obviously accepting the fact he’s not going to win this argument.
“I’ll be the one in white.”
CHAPTERFIFTY-NINE
LEIGHTON
Ipeek through the doors and down the aisle.
There are hundreds of people finding their seats, most of which I don’t know from a bar of soap. But they were invited to my sham of a wedding.
I look down at the dress I’m wearing and sigh. This isn’t what I would have picked for myself if I’d had a real choice, but at least I don’t look like the Ghostbusters are coming to get me.
I wish I could say I was ready for this. That I was ready to hand my life over to Jason. But I’m not, and I probably never will be.
“You’re doing the right thing, Leighton,” my father says from behind me, but I can’t bring myself to look at him. He’s in a navy blue suit I’m sure my mother picked out for him, with his police medals pinned to the lapel like he’s an upstanding citizen. If only they all knew he was as rotten as the criminals he claims to protect the city from.
I nod, choosing not to respond when I know I have nothing to say that won’t land me in more trouble than I’m already in, but nothing about this situation feels right.
We go through our lives imagining our wedding day. We see our big white dresses, and the church filled with our loved ones. We see the love of our life standing at the other end of the aisle and our loving father by our side as we try not to stumble toward our happily ever after. But that’s not what my wedding day looks like, and my heart aches for the little girl who dreamed of today. I let us both down.
The music starts playing, and I take a deep breath.
I can do this.
I can do this if it means Wyatt and Elias are safe.