Page 102 of Charlie

"Well that puts it in perspective, doesn't it?" I mumble, a sense of loss strangling me, dragging me down.

"Hey," he tips my chin, "Tell me what you're thinking."

I try to hold it in, but emotion gets the best of me. "One time? For the rest of our lives? That sounds miserable. And highly unrealistic, if I'm being honest." I sink into the water, his concerned gaze disappearing as I go under.

He pulls me back up. "You don't get to say that and disappear. Tell me what you're thinking, Charlie."

"Can we get dressed first?" I ask, rubbing at the goosebumps covering my arms.

He climbs out without a word and pulls two towels from the pack. We dress and gather the candles under a blanket of silence. Did I just screw this all up? I let out a shaky sigh as I follow him from the cave, blinking rapidly to push back the tears. Lach drops the pack when we reach the entrance and turns toward me, taking my hands in his.

"Did I just ruin our day?" I ask him, regretting opening my mouth in the worst way. Why didn't I just wait till after this weekend?

"Because you're communicating what you feel? Never." He tugs on my hands, pulling me down the beach. We lay down side by side, the sun warming our faces. "I'm ready when you are," he murmurs, squinting at me.

"Can I ask you a question first?"

"Of course."

"Do you only want one time?"

He barks out a laugh. "Fuck, no."

"Do you think Jack or Cam only want one time?"

"I don't think so."

"Then how did that become a rule?"

"It just feels like that's the easiest way for nobody to get hurt."

I turn to my side so I can look at him, tucking my arm under my head. "I don't want easy."

He turns toward me, propping himself up on his elbow. "What do you want, Charlie?"

"I want it to be real. I don't want any of us holding back because of what happened in the past."

"With Emily, you mean."

I nod. "I'm not her, Lach."

"You most definitely fucking aren't," he chuckles, rolling on top of me, and caressing my face with sandy fingers.

"Then why do we need rules?" I ask, tracing the freckles on his cheek with my thumb.

"You need to talk to Jack about that. I don't think he'll ever forgive himself for what happened. The last thing he wants is for the three of us to be ripped apart again."

"I would never—" I begin, but Lach cuts me off.

"It's not you he's worried about, Carebear. I don't think he trusts himself."

"That's stupid," I huff.

He murmurs his agreement, his pupils dilating as his gaze latches onto my lips. "Can we talk about Jack another time?" he asks, his voice hoarse.

"Yes," I laugh, wrapping my legs around him and pulling his face to mine. This kiss is different. The red-hot lust is still there, simmering under the surface, but beneath that, there's a current of fierce, undeniable love running fast and deep.

"Are you ready?" he asks when we both come up for air.

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