Page 70 of Reaper Razed

“Fuck you, bitch tits. He’s not my boyfriend. He didn’t fucking want me!” He roars at her. “Wait… Did you just insinuate that he’s that far in the closet he’s in Narnia? Actually, that’s a good one, but you’re still a cunt muffin.”

Dice turns to Steel. “Should I be offended?”

“Yeah, Dice, I would be if I were you!” Steel shakes his head as Dice leans forward, licking his lips at the carnage that’s going on in front of him.

“Is he pissed?” I ask, and Steel nods. Ah, that explains it!

Dane manages to wriggle his hand out while Ray’s on the next round of the typewriter, and he swings up to slap her round the face, but she grabs his hand and leans down and licks all the way up his face.

“What the fuck is wrong with them? I thought you guys didn’t fight among yourselves?” Dice asks, leaning forward again like he can’t look away.

“Family therapy!” I shrug again.

“That literally explains nothing.” Steel shakes his head. “How long will this go on for?”

“Until one wins.”

“What the fuck are they trying to win?” Steel asks.

Dice leans forward again, mesmerised by the twats rolling around on the floor. “They’re making no fucking sense whatsoever.”

“Firstly, I can punch like a freight train for anyone, not just an early arse, and secondly, fucking bite me.” She slaps him around the face again, and he screams.

“One day, Steel’s gonna realise what a fucking cunting bitch face you are, and when that time comes, I’m gonna tell you I was right!”

“You take that fucking back.” She punches him in the jaw, and he manages to shove her off till he’s straddling her.

“No, I’m gonna wait till he realises, then I’m gonna turn him bi and make you watch me fuck him, and then you and Dice can be lonely little lepers together!”

“How the fuck will we be lonely together, you fucking muppet? And you don’t have a big enough dick for Steel. He will laugh at your fucking chipolata!”

“What’s a chipolata?” Dice looks confused as all hell.

“You take that back. I have a monster dick, and you know it!” Dane retorts.

Dice leans forward. “He’s right!” He nods.

“Oh, please, I’ve got a bigger dick than you!”

“Bitch!”

“Twat!”

“How much longer?” Steel drops back into his chair.

“Not much now. Once they reach single words, it’s almost over.” I slur as my head drops back on the chair. “It’s too much like hard work keeping my head up to watch those two fuckwits.”

They back and forward another few shots each, and Ray punches Dane in the chin and knocks him off her. He rolls onto his back, both panting and cursing. He slaps the back of his hand against her stomach. At the same time, she does him, winding each other as they both sit bolt upright, gasping for air.

“Steel?” Ray gasps out in shock.

Dane gasps, “Dice?”

“How long have you been here?”

“Long enough.” They both grin at the two twats, who are covered in grass and leaves and look completely ridiculous.

“So… family therapy, huh?” Dice smiles.