Page 55 of Beautiful Beasts

“Crazy In Love” by Sofia Karlberg

I look out the window for a moment. The empty feeling in my chest is coming back again. I haven’t tried to wash away my past today or yesterday. I don’t feel right, nothing fucking feels right anymore.

I had it handled, all of it. I could handle dealing with Gus, with him using and abusing me, trying to get me to submit to whatever sickness he has in his head. I have dealt with his kind of sickness all my life. He, I can handle.

But my Beasts, Dante and Harley, the way they looked at me in the library. The way their voices cracked while they begged for me to let them in. Feeling Dante’s strong arms around me as my knees gave out, and I fell to the floor, taking him down with me that I couldn’t fucking handle, that I could never wash away.

Gus has threatened them and made a promise I believe he will follow through with. Even though Harley and Dante have no idea who has hurt me, they will figure it out eventually, and when they do, I am afraid Gus will follow through with his promise.

I can’t fucking handle that.

It is once again dark and gloomy; it isn’t raining yet, but it will come; it always does. Looking out the window, everything looks different; I feel different. I feel lost.

I kneel and begin to pick up the battered books on the ground. I was so fucking angry, sad, and overwhelmed with guilt and shame I didn’t know how to deal with it, so I did the only thing I could, I grabbed whatever I could get my hands on and destroyed it.

I never wanted to harm the books. They have helped me escape my past, but it was the only thing I could grab and rip apart. Now, guilt and shame are overwhelming me for what I have done to this library—the place Harley gave me so I could escape when I needed it.

Now look at it. It is a mess, almost as messy as my head.

I take a deep, shaky breath. The Beasts have not left me alone. They are afraid, and it is my fault; all of this is my fault.

Fuck, I should have never stayed here. I should have never let them in. I should have fucking walked away and saved them from whatever fate Gus had planned.

I don’t know what I fucking did to make Gus believe that he wanted me. If I knew what I did, I would never do it again, but I don’t think he knows why. It seems like I have walked into a game, the sort of game that Gus was the only one who knew we were all playing. A dangerous, life-changing game that will leave all of us damaged beyond repair.

I sit back and place the next book on the pile I have made on the floor.

I hear the door open and close, making my heart race.

I take yet another deep breath. I hear footsteps approaching me, and I can tell it is Harley. I know them so well that I don’t need to see their face to know who is near me when it comes to Dante and Harley.

Harley makes his way around me and kneels in front of me. I look him right in the eyes because I know if I don’t, the guilt and shame will only increase that much more. Harley tilts his head to the side and watches me like he has been doing since I walked into his life.

He reaches out his hands and grabs my arms, standing up and forcing me to get up. I stand still as he tightens his grip on my arms.

“Tell me, Bella, tell me who the fuck hurt you,” he demands and begs.

“Just let it go,” I whisper, pleading with him. Him knowing the truth will only cause him pain. It would cause both of them pain. They don’t need any more pain in their lives.

“You know I can’t fucking do that, was it Gus? Has he been hurting you?”

I see the fear and anxiety in his eyes, making my stomach tighten.

“Tell me, baby girl, tell me what is wrong,” he begs me just like he did last week, the way they both did.

Fuck.

I can’t answer him. I can’t fucking put his or Dante’s life in danger. So I do the only thing I can do. I grab onto his shirt and pull him into me. His eyes rapidly search mine as I grab onto the back of his neck and force him to lean down; I smash my lips against his trying to shut him the fuck up.

I can’t keep lying, so I will keep us from being able to talk or beg.

I hear the door open and close, and Dante clears his throat, pulling me out of the daze I am in, being in Harley’s arms. I pull back and turn my head. Dante is slowly making his way over to me. I place my hands on Harley’s chest and try to push him back, but he doesn’t move, not one fucking inch.

Dante stops behind me, boxing me in. My heart races as he starts to kiss my neck.

Fuck me.

I feel his cock harden against my ass. Harley is standing in front of me, their warmth and smell consuming me.

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